My ex boyfriend went back to his ex wife and left me pregnant. Need some advice please!

Clariza - posted on 01/20/2015 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I was with my ex boyfriend for 7 months he proposed, we planned to have a baby. He was recently divorced from his ex when we started talking he lived 4 hrs away from me and would come see me every weekend or he would come pick me up so I could spend sometime with him where he lived. He Since the beginning he was open and honest with me and always was very respectful and loving. He was a great father figure to my 10 yr old son. He became close to my family and friends, it felt so right that I let my guard down for once after my last hurtful breakup. I ended up moving in with him 5 months after we started seeing each other. Recently in the last month he started telling me that he was confused and wasn't sure about us and the baby. I was extremely hurt. A week goes by and he breaks up with me saying he didn't want a family because he already had one and he lost it, meaning that he had divorced his wife and leaving his 5 yr old daughter. I was their for him and his daughter every time she was over. He said he would've stayed married even though he was miserable just to be with his daughter if I hadn't came along. Now he's saying he has a special place in his heart for his ex wife and he's going to try and work things out with her. I took care of him so well the only problems we actually had was my hormonal changes and I know he was stressing about financial issues since he was use to living a certain lifestyle and Ive always had a humbled lifestyle. I'm 4 months pregnant going on 5 and it kills me that he's doing the opposite of what he said he would never do. His dad left his mom when he was little he always said he wouldn't be like that. I love him so much but I refuse to shed a tear and even though I feel like everything is caving on me I know I have to be strong for my baby. I just don't understand how everything just changed.

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Jodi - posted on 01/20/2015

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What on earth were you doing planning a baby with someone you have only been with for such a short period of time? AND you are the rebound woman. Sorry, but this was a relationship that needed MUCH more time. He was still married when you met him. e still had things to work out. The two of you should NEVER have planned a baby. You moved WAY too fast on everything.

However, what is done is done, you can't undo it now. What you need to do is make sure you set up custody, visitation and child support as soon as the baby is born so that you can move on with your life and develop a co-parenting relationship with the father.

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Drosasuyi - posted on 04/20/2015

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I am Vanella Jones i lives in united states and i was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us. I cry all day, Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to dr osasuyi , and i contacted him and tell him my problems how i lost my relationship with my lover. at first i thought it was not going to be possible.i was ask to come up with a little requirement information of me and my boyfriend,so i did what i was ask to do, after 24Hours the spell was cast i was in my office when clark called me and was asking me to forgive him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me. my boyfriend is now back and he treat me well. and our relationship is now stronger ask ever before. if you are out there looking for help is time for you to still put your hope on dr osasuyi love spell, i promise you that you will be happy with your boyfriend again email him. drosasuyi@gmail.com or you can also call him with this number +2347053161101.

Marie - posted on 04/06/2015

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so sorry this happened to you, but it takes 2 to tango and is not your fault! Maybe you should have been cautious but so should he, a similar thing happened to me. It is so painful and excruciating but you can get through it, promise. Step 1 do not contact him, wait until the baby is born. Step 2 plan without him. Step 3 keep busy and surround yourself with family and friends. Step 4 remember that you're having a lovely baby and don't let this situation detract from that. Step 5, you can't do anythingto change it and sometimes the best thing to do is nothing, don't beat yourself up. Step 6, remember if he let you down now, how it would affect your baby and 10 year old if he did it again...again...again. I hope you're a bit better and chin up, us women are tough!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/21/2015

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Ok, your post is glaringly inconsistent. You say that he was "recently divorced from his ex"...and then further down you say that "He said that He said he would've stayed married even though he was miserable just to be with his daughter if I hadn't came along"...which indicates that he was attempting to reconcile or still in his marriage when you met him.

Why on earth would you 'let your guard down' after only a VERY short period of time with someone that you knew still hadn't cleaned up his previous relationship?

Get paternity and support established.

Raye - posted on 01/21/2015

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Jodi hit the nail on the head. Since you are the mother of a 10 year-old, you should have been way more cautious about who you let into your lives and hearts and spent much more time getting to know your new love interest to avoid this kind of situation. Lesson learned.

He's not doing the opposite of what he said he would never do by leaving YOU. "His dad left his mom when he was little he always said he wouldn't be like that." Well, he was being like that when he left his ex, and he's being like that leaving you. In this situation, he's going to be that person no matter who he decided to have a relationship with. It's not a good situation for him to be in a marriage where he is miserable just for the sake of the child. The child is usually happier if both parents are happy (whether together or separate). But if he want's to make it work with her, then there's nothing you can do about that.

What you can do: when the baby is born, set up custody, visitation and child support. Then move on with your life being smarter and more cautious about your future relationships.

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