My responsibility but out of options!!!

Heidi - posted on 01/23/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is in trouble with the police constantly latest being armed robbery which the police have put down to a prank gone wrong !! He is a bully a thief he has previous for sexual harassment, I have Called in outside agencies who my son continues to manipulate and lie to and play the victim, I have brought in yot services who again he has weaved them into believing he is not this person his family are making him out to be and I must be a neurotic mother who just sees bad in her son, I have tried every single option with my son he has no respect for us as parents no respect for authority, that especially don't help when I am trying to punish my son for his behaviours and professionals counteract myself and his dad. We told don't ground him it's against his human rights, not allowed to take objects of him such as phone etc as a way of punishment because again it is against his humans rights, the knives and hammers he has under his pillow I have to put down to he forgot he had them??? Like what child has carving knives and hammers and forgets?? When he has smashed cars its was on apparently by the police because he's young and learning?? And as previous mentioned he committed armed robbery on four separate property's then ran from armed police unit that was deployed nearly shot but don't be hard on him it just a prank gone wrong??? So sorry if I'm confused but us as a family who are trying to discipline and teach him that these action are not correct are being punished by authority figures who I would of thought would be backing us up to steer him right before he ends up in jail on a serious serious crime?? Where am I suppose to go now?? Most services will not touch him as to them he does not make criteria, my doctor just wants to put me on happy pills,so he no help school has also agreed with that my son needs mental health care but again he hasn't done anything serious enough for them to get involved, it is tearing my family apart he can not interactive with his siblings because he hurts them, so he not allowed to be on his own with them, he steals constantly from us, I feel we are having to follow him around to make sure he is not doing anything, a lot of people out comments such as bad parenting, and kids only learn from their parents etc but me personally I have raised 8 children not one if them has ever been in trouble with the police my oldest is 20 by the way and about to go the forces, I am very aware of what my children are doing and where they are, and I have prided myself on the fact that all besides my son has respect, manners and knows what is right and wrong in life, and before the keyboard warriors say well with 8 children you can't keep an eye on all of them and expect them not to be in trouble and with that many you are going to neglect other areas, this is not the case we all have a very strong connection I am honest with my children and they are with me, we are very protective with one another and basically I respect my children as the persons they are as they do to myself and their father. I just need to know does anybody have any suggests that I might not have thought of? Also can I also include I have even begged psychologist from both the private sector and public to evaluate him, and again he does not meet criteria.

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Heidi - posted on 02/05/2016

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Confuse over weapon used for armed robbery, my son claims he found a plastic kids toy gun that looked very realistic to being a real one, as he found this gun just lying there by his feet he also had an idea of threatening people and seeing and maybe recording there actions on a phone and putting it on YouTube he says it was to be a social experiment and he had watched it somewhere, he told me the name of person but after lots of investigation it turns out this was a lie, the social experiment words where put into his head by myself when I questioned him over who would do social experiments like that to people?? Apparently there was footage on phone of the offence he commited but when I asked police for the videos they told me they handed phone back to the other boy who recorded them. I aske did they watch the videos to which I was told no they didn't need to kids just being kids having a joke and this is a prank that had gone wrong?? Unbelievable but very true.

Heidi - posted on 02/05/2016

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My son is 14yrs old, his friends are from well to do backgrounds and the type that parents refuse to believe their precious child does any wrong doing. My sons friends friends don't last to long though as after time they realise the impact he has on there lives and they sort of distance themselves from him. He will then move into other friends, who at first my son is seen as the boy who does what he wants gets into trouble and just this regular bad boy who is fun to be with. My son will also commit various crimes whilst with just himself he could be on way to shop or somewhere and commit vandalism or theft. The places he commit his crimes though are very snobby and closed of and tend not want the publicity or bad name that goes with having a high percentage on a street or area map. So the police and residents all keep it on the low and I think that's why he is not getting punished as then it's not recorded as a crime.

Heidi - posted on 02/05/2016

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Hi just to update, my son ran away a week ago, I have informed social services to see what they could do and the police. The police brought him home, to which we found out my son is claiming abuse at home,the police made my son promise he would not run again and sent my son up to his room. The police then told me and his father that If he has to come back out he would arrest one of us took all our kids names and ages and more or less told us what our son was making an accusation towards. When the police left my son ran away again within five mins. I phoned them again which they located him again but said to leave him at friends for the night and he will corn back tomorrow. Tomorrow came and went so phoned them again to which they located him at said friends house, my son does not want to come back and police said for the time being leave him where he is, they gave me address but told me not to make contact. In the mean time I have been in touch with school who have informed me that his behaviour is out of control and for the past week he has gotten worse. He has made sexual advances towards pupils and female staff, very aggressive towards pupils, stealing and generally not a pleasure to have In school at the moment. I have asked that she put in a referral with me to professionals because this can no longer be tolerated. I myself have made contact again to refer my son, but that did not help last time as my son is very manipulative, and made the social worker and other professionals believe he was the victim. I do personally think my son has a mental illness such as conduct disorder but through the years when I have asked for an assessment I have had excuses to why they can't. One excuse being he has brothers and sisters???? If we could afford we would have put him through privately, but the expense is out of league, but I do think this might have to be an option now as I'm running out of patience I worry for which path he is heading down and I worry about the impact all of this has on us as a family.

Raye - posted on 01/25/2016

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Grounding and taking away privileges and things such as his phone are not against his rights. His rights are food, shelter, clothes and education. Everything else he has are extras that damn sure can be taken away.

How old is this kid?
What "criteria" does he not meet for psych evaluation?

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