My Silent Sun

Sally Ann - posted on 01/15/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My soon to be 15 yr old has not spoken to me since Nov 1. He covers his ears & eyes so he won't see me.

is completely fine toward my spouse. He told his dad the other that he wanted my spouse & me to break up and he would go with his dad. We were in the midst of starting the separation, but then my son started to give me the silent treatment, Everything is in limbo. My heart is broken.
This happened almost overnight. I don't know what to do. Any ideas, please?
Thank you

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Chet - posted on 01/17/2014

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I can totally read. I read and re-read the original post trying to figure out exactly what was going on!

The first point I'm not sure about Is the spouse and the father. Are they the same person or two different people?

The second point I'm not clear on is the timeline. The post suggests that the son wants the breakup to happen, but stopped talking to the mom after the split was announced. And then the mom stopped the breakup after the son said he wanted it. Which doesn't seem like a logical sequence of events so I feel like there are details missing or like I've misunderstood.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/17/2014

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Angela, We can read, thanks. And, I notice that, after you actually read it again, you had the same confusion.

Nitpicky today?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

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I'm confused too. Is your spouse his father? Or are you and dad already split, and he wants you and your current spouse to split?

Either way, the child is crying for some counseling.

Chet - posted on 01/16/2014

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I'm not sure that I understand...

You were in the process of splitting up with the father of your son, but stopped when your son started behaving this way. Accept your son claims that he wants your to split up.

Since you were pursuing a split anyway, my guess is that there are relationship problems at your house and that your son is not coping well. I imagine the situation is complicated. Even if your son doesn't want to talk to you I expect that he would benefit from talking to somebody.

How is he doing in school? Does he have friends? Does he feel that he can confide in your husband?

Is it possible that your son doesn't want you to split up with his dad and blames you for threatened split? Is it possible the instability of a pending split has really shaken him and he's trying to protect himself emotionally by throwing up this wall? Is it possible that his relationship with your husband has been weaker than his relationship with you in the past and he feels that he needs to side with your husband in a split so as not to lose him?

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