My son wants to live with his dad.

Marie - posted on 03/05/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, I recently sent you a story about my son,but I could not find it, so I don't know if you response to me or not. Please help.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/12/2015

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"F, Sat and Sun he's with his dad. We r joint custody"~~So you legally cannot deny your son's going to his father's on Friday night, as you attempted to do: "Last Friday I told him not to go with his dad, but I'll drop him in there in the morning"
So, it's probably a good thing he defied your orders, because the court orders are what's important in that circumstance. You denied his access to his father because your feelings were hurt. Very adult and mature of you.
"He left with out my permission"~~Yes, this is an issue, but, again, you didn't have the authority to deny his court ordered access to his father, so I'd have left in the same situation as well.
"This is the 3 times he did this"~~So, what you're saying is that you have a habit of defying court orders when it suits you? Not advisable.
"He love his dad bc he's the dad"~~Well, don't you love YOUR parents? Is this so hard to understand? I'm certain he loves you because you're his mother...
"His dad let him do whatever he wants. There's no rules in his dad house"~~Another thing that is not really any of your concern, nor anything that you can control. All you can do is control your response, which, currently is over the top, and in defiance of court orders. Not a very good choice on your part
"Every Sun. He supposed to be home at 6pm, but he's always late" and how late is late? Are you exactly spot on time for every single thing you do, every single day? You've already told us that you have attempted to drop him at his dad's not just LATE, but THE NEXT DAY.
"One time his dad took him to Las Vegas, about half way there, they had to come back, bc his dad did not get my permission and they took off"~~What are court orders regarding activity and crossing state lines during that parent's custodial time? THAT is what is important.

Start abiding by your ordered visitation time. Start following all of your court orders. Stop using your ex's COURT ORDERED time as punishment for your son when you're pissed at your ex.

Raye - posted on 03/10/2015

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I agree with the others that you can't refuse the father visitation just because you're mad at your son or mad at your ex. Your ex can take you to court over it. Taking the boy's phone and other electronics away, not allowing him to watch TV, making him clean his room, these are all acceptable punishments. If your ex is late bringing him home, or is taking the boy out of state without permission, then you need to discuss that with your ex and get him to abide by the terms of custody/visitation. If he's not following the rules, then you can take him to court, but he will probably bring up your refusal to let him have his time. Then it's going to be a "he said / she said" grudge match that is not helpful to anyone.

Do what you're legally obligated to do, and let the rest of it go. If your son decides that he wants to live with his dad, then you might have to let him. The grass is not always greener, and he may find out it wasn't the best idea (assuming the dad will even take him).

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2015

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Ok, having read your post I am going to say this:

Your son goes with his dad Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. But you use it as punishment? He was rude to you so you told him he couldn't go to dad's house on Friday. BAD MOVE. He didn't leave without your permission., Friday is his day with his dad. He doesn't NEED your permission to see his dad on his dad's day. do NOT use time with dad as punishment for how he treats you. EVER.

Dad lets him do whatever he wants. You can't control what happens at dad's house. That doesn't mean you get to stop him going there. You can't control the situation at dad's house. You can only control how you respond to that. And right now, you are trying to control the situation, and this is not how you are going to resolve anything.

With regard to being late home on Sundays, are we talking hours and hours, days, or just 1/2 - 1 hour? Is it really a situation you want to make a battle?

Dad took him to Las Vegas? On his weekend? Would he have been home on time (or close to on time)? If he would have been, then really, does it matter?

I guess all I'm saying is that your post sounds like you are trying to control your son's contact with his father and you simply can't do that if it is his father's time. You need to learn to back off.

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