My son was caught smoking pot...help!

Anda - posted on 06/15/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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After being out for a few hours my husband and I came home to find my son red eyed. When I asked what was with his eyes he said allergies from outside, which he does have. When I went to use the bathroom there was black soot like stuff in the toilet. I called him in and and asked what him and his friend had done. After thinking a minute he told me they smoked a joint. Another boy was also there that I didnt know was coming over. The mirror was streaky and I asked what that was from he said that they had turned on the shower to make it steamy as he had read this would stop the smell from lingering. I am happy he told me the truth but very I am very disappointed in his choice. His friends had wanted to do it in the shed which he at least had the good sense not to do as he knows there is gas in there. He wants to take the fall for it all and doesn't want me to tell the parents of the others boys. I am not sure if I should keep quiet because he did tell me the truth, he also admitted it was not the first time. Help!! I am lost in how to deal with this!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2013

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LOL First of all, Marijuana is NOT highly addictive, unless it has been laced with other substances! Good grief, the propaganda that will be spread as soon as you hear the dreaded word!

However, your son is a minor child, as are the others. They were in your home, which makes them your responsibility.

Tell the other parents that your kid has confessed to them all smoking. Then you've done your duty as the "responsible" parent, and they can decide on punishment themselves. Most definitely DO NOT force them to punish their kids, because the kids aren't yours, and the punishment is not yours to decide.

And, contrary to another poster's opinion, you should NOT involve the school in this either. The kids were not AT SCHOOL, so first of all, they wouldn't be able to do anything, and secondly, if they did put a note in a file, the kids would all be mercilessly scrutinized for the rest of their scholastic career. It happened in your home, handle it just as you would any other problem that happens in your home ;-)

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You should tell the parents, but be careful how you go about it. It's not your job to parent someone else's child, or suggest a punishment to them. Sadly, parents won't give the appropriate consequences. You're likely to hurt their ego and cause them not to punish their child at all if you try and tell them how to parent. Just tell them what happened and say you thought they should know.

Marijuana is not a physiological addiction. It can become a psychological addiction, but it's not the same as if he was doing heroin or something. I know this because I studied abnormal psychology. A lot of people throw out all these "facts" about marijuana that are really just rumors people hear and spread from one mouth to the next. The majority of people who smoke "dope" do not become addicted. The withdrawal symptoms are minor compared to other drugs. Quitting cigarettes has worse withdrawal symptoms and nicotine is far more addictive than any content of the marijuana plant.

Jodi - posted on 06/15/2013

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Personally, I think you have an obligation to tell the parents of the other boys. While I understand that he doesn't want that, if the other boys' parents don't also deal with the situation, then it is more than likely to continue, and your son may find it difficult not to participate if he is "hanging around" with his friends.

I would certainly try to have him attend some form of counselling. I don't think I could trust him with these friends, nor at home on his own, again for a while.

Although the extent of the consequences also probably depend on how old he is, you haven't mentioned, but make sure the school is aware of the situation so that they can't just truant together to do it without you knowing about it.

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Lynn - posted on 07/21/2013

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I think that this may be a weird punishment but if at home you don't let him use the toilet for a week and diaper him and tell him if he gets caught doing it again the punishment will get longer each time

Callen - posted on 06/15/2013

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Hi. My daughter was 15, I think, when she was caught doing drugs. We did not take it lightly, and neither should you! He told the truth because he knew he was busted! I also would call the other parents. My husband, myself, my younger daughter and the "doper" all went to drug counseling. It was put on by the county, I think. I didn't just send her off for counseling, as I felt there was probably a reason for the behavior and family counseling was necessary. She straightened out though and is currently an RN, married and doesn't even drink much! Hang in there, but definitely don't be easy on him. This is important!!! Good Luck.

Delaney - posted on 06/15/2013

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Smoking pot is an un-acceptable mindless action. Your son and the other boy should be punished. Contact the other parents, and make sure they give the appropriate punishment. Just a sugestion, but im your possition, I would contact the school counslor and get him some help. Dope is highly addictive, and the problem wont stop itself. I wouls also ground him, and he would not be going anywhere, or staying home alone until he has proven himself. Many would say that this is to harsh, but when he put the joint to his mouth he made a decision. Dont take this lightly!!!!

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