my soon to 16 year old daughter & i had a fight.now she wont come home

Silinda - posted on 09/11/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Help!!. My daughter won't come home from her dads. For the last 6 months all we have done is argue. I ask her to do some thing.ie, dishes, laundry, clean the bathroom. And all I get is attuide...I work a shit job for shit pay...i clean houses on the side. Every extra penny is for what she needs and a whole lot of what she wants..her Dad and I have been divorced for 12 years. He is on his forth marriage and does not help with much ...he always says he is broke.. I came home from work the other day and all her clothes were gone...she said im Mean and shes needs time away to think.. she only wants to go the high school by her dads..I enrolled her there two days ago..this is killing me.. I feel like I'm loosing my kid.. shes old enough to decide where she wants to live, but its not right..I raised her, I was there when she was scik, I bern there full Time..now her part time dad all the sudden has money to do this and that with her??? Do I make her come home?? I could drive her to school myself..

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/12/2014

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You can't make her do anything, if you live in a state where the child's desire is taken into account.

Let her make the choice. I know it's not what you want, but consider this a time to perhaps look into a better job with better hours, and take care of some things you've been putting off.

It would also be in your best interest to ask for a support review (before he does). If she's living with him, you're obligated to pay part of her support, regardless of his history of paying you.

Corona0611 - posted on 09/11/2014

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Think of it as a mini vacation. I know it's not words you want to hear right now. You're upset, distraught, you feel unappreciated, slapped in the face and a sense of emptiness aka empty nest. She sounds like a typical teen, knows everything and thinks the grass is greener on the other side, they always do. In the end, HOME is where the heart is. For now as long as daddio is spoiling her and allowing her to do what she wants and so on, the grass will stay greener on that other side; but when the well runs dry, the grass won't be so green anymore. It's tough to suppress your feelings of anger and sadness, but do some things for yourself, save some money, take her to lunch and have a spa day together, or go buy a new outfit for each of and enjoy your quality time with her, put the money saved into savings for her college fund. Play the role dad has played in her life all these years. I promise you, one day, she is going to get through these terrible teens and she will realize everything mom has done for her and will appreciate it full force. They always do. Reverse psychology and reversed roles can work wonders :-)

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