My step-daughter has an eating disorder, should I tell her mom?

Jacquelyn - posted on 07/03/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My step-daughter has always been slim but over the past year, she has lost even more weight. She pushes food around on her plate sometimes and other times she eats as much as a man. Either way, she is very skinny. I suspected an eating disorder and asked her father to broach the subject with her. He is in denial.

I finally got the courage to ask her and it was like she'd wanted someone to ask her all along. She openly admitted to being bulimic. While she was glad to finally share the burden with someone, she asked me to "under no circumstances", tell her mom. Do I respect her wishes and just help her get the help she needs without letting her mom know? Or do I tell her bio-mom out of respect?

6 Comments

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Lauren - posted on 07/11/2013

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You need to ask her to start to go to therapy and possibly be checked into a psych ward and held on a 72 hour hold. The hospital that i was put into was very nice and we have a lot of group therapy. Meeting girls her age with the same problems will help. Dont just go straight to her bio mom. Talk to her about telling her bio mom because if you are the only person she tells her problems to, she cant lose that and let everything stay secret. It could seriously harm your relationship with her if you tell her bio mom without talking to her first.

Enna - posted on 07/08/2013

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Her mom definitely needs to know. This is a matter of her health and safety, not just talking about a boyfriend or something. I would have another conversation with her. Explain to her that her mom needs to know. Give her the option of telling her mom herself, having you do it, or doing it together. Tell her that you don't want to break her trust by telling her mom behind her back, but it's really important that her mom knows because bulimia is an illness and she needs help. The best person to help her is her mom.

Shelley - posted on 07/07/2013

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She needs help. So yeah tell her!! Her mom could find out anyways and if she found out you knew, that could cause a ton of problems! If her biological mother has any sort of custody, she has the right to know.

Sally - posted on 07/05/2013

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Can you get her treatment without her parents? If so, respect her privacy. If not, her health is more important. If you have to tell her mom to get her the help she needs, warn her in advance and seek her help in telling it the least traumatic way for her.

Jennifer - posted on 07/03/2013

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I would keep the bio-mom out of it. She obviously wanted to share this with you and it isn't worth losing her trust by involving more people.

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