My teenage daughter sees nothing wrong with smoking pot

Robin - posted on 09/14/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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This is hard for me, but here it goes. I was married for 20 years to a man who gradually stopped working and preferred to drink and sleep while I worked three jobs to make ends meet. We have a 16 year old daughter. About 4 years ago my daughter asked me why I stayed married to her Father. I told her I loved him and it isn't easy for her to understand. Then after my Mother died I realized life was too short and decided to divorce her dad. I will admit there was infidelity on both of our parts and my daughter knows about mine but not her Fathers. Now a year later I have moved on and am living with a man who is amazing. My daughter in the last two years has been smoking weed and has been hospitalized for depression. She came to live with us and was sober for two months. She admitted to me she is smoking pot again and her behavior is getting worse. Her Father gives her $600.00 a month with no regulations. Last week I caught her skipping school, smoking with her friends in my house, while I was at work. I told her she had to move out and live with her Father. She became upset and violent she grabbed the phone out of my hand we scuffled. She then locked herself in the bathroom and cut her wrist. I called the cops and she went to the hospital. When she was released she went to her Dad's for one night. He lives in a 20ft trailer and refuses to get a bigger place and now has our daughter living with a friend of his. Just two nights at the new house she was pulled over with drugs in the car, which weren't hers, they belonged to one of her friends, she was released with no consequences. My ex and her were smiling about the situation. I am heartbroken about the situation. My boyfriend is upset because he sees how it is tarring me apart. My daughter and I relationship in the last three years is a volatile and seems to be getting worse. Part of me wants to get my own place to see it helps her,but since our relationship is getting worse I am afraid that it would not help the situation. I am totally lost about this situation. What are your thoughts.

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Bonnie - posted on 09/14/2015

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Getting your own place is not going to help the situation. It will take away the support you have from your partner. Unfortunately, sticking to your rules of no drugs in your home is something you HAVE to do. The hardest thing in the world is to fight harder for a family members sobriety than they fight for themselves....its a losing battle. Getting charges placed on her, court ordered rehab, counseling....they may help but ONLY if she sees she has a problem and wants the help.
You need to keep your support structure as strong as possible because this is a long battle. It could last well into your dughters adult life. Getting with a support group for you is a good idea, it lets you know that you ar not alone.

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