My teenager is just NOT grateful

Cora - posted on 03/20/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My teenager is just NOT grateful for anything I do for him…i'm a single mother …he lives with me full-time …i do all my best ….but he is grateful to his father …he gives him money from time to time …i do not have money as his father .. What can I do?

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Margie - posted on 03/23/2014

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When I was a single mom, I had the same problems with my daughter. It's a kind of teenage blackmail. They are amazingly manipulative. I know it will be a hard journey, but stand your ground and make sure he has boundaries. My daughter is now 29 and about when she was about 26/27, she started to realise that what I did for her was for her benefit. I think it was from two things. Firstly she had begun to grow up and secondly she has her own 6 year old to deal with and has found out why it is hard to be a parent. I am sorry to say that Donna is correct. He will find out in time. Their brains are not completely mature at this stage (medical fact) Consequences are irrelevant as far as they are concerned. Use your pillow as a punching bag and I know this sounds corny, at first I thought so too, get a journal and write your inner most feelings. Its amazing how cathartic it is. Good luck Cora. All moms are with you.

Donna - posted on 03/22/2014

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Unfortunately he's not realizing the big picture right now and sorry for you but he won't until he's older. You r a single mom probably working your butt off just to help the two of you survive. You r the disenplary person also. Then dad comes along all fun and money. It's got to be so frustrating! I didn't realize until later in my life that my mom although not emotionally here for me, she had emotional problems and eventually killed herself, but she was the fun, money giving one. My dad was the one to disinclipline me and I hated him for it at the time. He was the hard working one. After mom died I realized I had more love and respect for him than my mom.unfortunately it took a long time to come to this and now he's gone too but left me a trust fund. I used to wonder why he would let me struggle so much through my lifetime. Now I know he just wanted me to be able to stand on my own and be a better self sufficient adult. Don't worry he will figure it out but unfortunately it will take time. Good luck. Hang in there. You r a strong self sufficient woman and I applaud you.

Jodi - posted on 03/20/2014

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You need to make sure he IS grateful. Stop doing things for him. I'm betting you still cook his meals, do other household chores for him? If you do, stop cooking his dinner. Stop washing his clothes. Stop running him around everywhere. Make it clear to him that until he learns to be respectful and appreciative, you really don't feel like doing these things for him.

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