My Young Tween Daughter's Eating Problem

Maria - posted on 03/28/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello! Hope your day go well with your family especially teenagers! 

I feel a big disappointment by watching my daughter not finish the plate. She always go like “Mommy, I am full.” And I usually reply “Please empty the plate, I don’t put so much there.” She will cooperate at first and take two spoons then say “I am SO full!” Then she opens the snack bar next to her. I put a pause there and say she has to finish the plate first.

Actually, I usual put about a good amount on the plate, much smaller than my plate. A year ago, she eats a lot and eats more than I do, but this time, she is totally opposite. She eats smaller than I do, but when it comes to eating out at some restaurants, she eats really well, and I end up eating small than she does. (I know it’s strange) I cook a really healthy meal and they taste good. I allow her to eat some snacks or desserts if she finishes the plates. Sometimes, she doesn’t always want snack/desserts.

So.. I become to be really concerning that she seems like losing some more weight, she is taller than me. I am 5.5 and she is about the same, just a bit taller. She is 11, going to be 12. She was weight as 130, now probably 120. She has her period already since almost a year ago. Her behavior can be “teen” moments due to lack of being cooperative.

Let me share a bit of my history when I was younger, I had a hard time finishing the plate and my mom kept getting angry or upsetting with me, and pushed me to eat everything til I felt sick. I was like about 8. I was under 50 pounds. At teen, I was under 100 pounds, struggled with eating even I deadly wanted to gain some good pounds. I couldn’t help it being so skinny til the day I have my daughter, and I am in a good weight. I am so happy with what I have right now, no complains.

So my daughter thinks she is a little bit heavy when I tell her to eat a bit more because I am fear of her going way too skinny. She says “GOOD, so I need to get rid of this” points to her tummy. It breaks my heart. I always encourage her to eat well, exercise, and no needed to worry about her weight since she is not EVEN a bit heavy at all.

I don’t know what else to do other than trying to encourage her to finish the plate unless there is a fried chicken, hamburgers, or salads. I don’t want to be so pushy but sometimes I have to go over there, and spoon her myself.

Im seriously thinking to take her to see the doctor, I certaintly don’t want her to go through what I have been through.

Or…am I overreacting?

Please leave any advices, will be much appreciated!!

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Jane - posted on 03/30/2013

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you are not over reacting, she has this image of perfection in her head which most teenagers now adays do have, unfortunatly in todays society, perfection is described as tall and skinny, talk to her, discuss why shes doing this, and show her that being beautiful doesent mean to be skinny, there are alot of 'plus size' models and alot of 'bigger' women that are beautiful and not skinny, you could distract her by doing a project together, make things or do things together to keep her occupied or instead of starving herself do some exercise when shes gained abit of weight.

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