Need advice about this guy in my life.

Karen - posted on 06/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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There's this guy who's been in my life for about 20yrs now. We've always been good friends. No matter how much time we spend apart, we always find our way back to one another. We got back in contact about a year and half ago. We've told each other how we've felt. We've started to get closer. But I'm starting to notice a change in his behavior and attitude. I don't know what it is. I feel like he's shutting me out or am I being to pushy/aggressive. He once told me that I let my insecurities ruin my relationships. I want us to be in a committed relationship. And I'm feeling like he don't want me to meet his kids. What to do because he's a big part of my life

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Karen - posted on 06/26/2013

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Thanks Denikka. I appreciate your input and advice. I'm just gonna let nature takes its course and sees what happens.

Denikka - posted on 06/26/2013

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It's a LOT different bringing a friend to meet the kids vs bringing a partner to meet them. He has every right to be cautious and take the process very slowly. In fact, this is a very good reason to respect him even more instead of having an issue with it.

Not matter how big a part of your life he is, no matter how much time you guys spend together, at this point, at best, you're *just* the girlfriend. You can still easily drop out of his life. Maybe you wouldn't, but that chance is still there. And dropping out of his life means dropping out of the kids lives. No matter how he feels about you, his kids should come first, and if he's not absolutely sure that the relationship is stable and you are potential step-mother material for his kids, you shouldn't be involved in their lives at this point.
You say you've only gotten back into contact a year and a half ago. You don't say how long you didn't have contact for. You also don't say how long, or actually even IF there's a real relationship at this point. You need to chill out. He will let you meet his kids if and when he's good and ready, when he's secure in the relationship and all that it entails.
Respect him for not jumping in and placing his kids in a potentially risky and hurtful situation. Not many men are that smart, care that much, etc.

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