need advice my 15 year old daughter is pregnant

Michelle - posted on 11/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Good evening to fellow moms out there i am new here and i was wondering if anyone can help me .Me and my husband are proud parents of 3 great girls 15,10 and 4 .My oldest one came to me a few weeks ago and she told me that she could be pregnant .So to make a long story short she is now 8 weeks pregnant so my baby is having a baby.It has not hit me that at 42 and that my mom is going to be a great grandmother i will be a grandmother in 9 months.My daughter is very depressed and sad she is a straight a student on top of that she work very hard and was captain of the Cheerleading Squard but now she has to give that up.On top of that she has lost 2 of her best friends because they want nothing to do with my daughter.The babies father is and seems to be a nice gentleman and comes from a nice family .The thing i can not get over is the parents of the babies father are so happy that they are going to be grandparents .Me and my husband had dinner with them last week and they are so happy i am just so shocked i ask both of them it does not bother them there son is going to be a dad and they told me no way .The one thing i need advice about is the boys parents want my daughter and her boyfriend to get a apartment together.I put my foot down and i told them i am not going to let my 15 year old daughter move out.I need and want to keep any eye on my daughter through this pregnancy she need me and her dad support she is very scared and nervous

So on top that i suggest to the boys mom that in the next couple of months we should sit down to plan a baby shower for my daughter.She told me that i should just have it with my family side because they already built a babies room and already has a disney theme and they have everything in there you name it and they boys mother brought it which i saw the room and i just can not believe how quick they put them room up.

Why is it that they are so happy to have a grandchild just a young age in there late 30's when me and my husband are so shocked and worried that we are going to be grandparents.

My other advice is my 10 year old daughter looks up to her older sister so much but we have not sit down and told her that her sister is going to have a baby.How much will that affect my daughter realtionships with one another when i tell my 10 year old that her sister is going to have a baby..

It really has not hit me yet as a mom that my 15 year old is pregnant when will it hit me that this is really happening

Is it better now or later to tell my whole family that my 15 year old is pregnant.

My 15 year old keeps asking me how the 3 of my pregnancy's went i have been trying to put it off by telling her and do you recommend that i sit down and tell her .

I would apprecited any information or advice any moms can give me .Take care and have a great night God bless

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Gesine - posted on 11/10/2013

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Hi, I just want to say that my oldest daughter, now 19, is mother of 2 girls, one age 2 1/2 other 5 months, and despite her being just 17 and the first baby having large health problems where she was advised to abort as she was border-line case of survival, my daughter decided to carry on the pregnancy and after along operation and 3 months in hospital my granddaughter hasn't looked back. My daughter too has managed to carry on studying, doing her final year at school this year and then hopes to go to university next year, so she only got delayed one year. What I say is to talk and be near your daughter and make sure she doesn't drop out of school.
My daughter says her daughters are the best thing that has happened to her.
All the best for you and your daughter

Heather - posted on 11/09/2013

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Michelle when I seen your post WOW it brought back many memories. #1 I was 14 when I had my first child #2 My youngest daughter had my granddaughter at 15. #3 aaaauuuhg I feel for you. OK first question Some people I guess take it differently then us, I was devastated when I found out my daughter was pregnant . I sat down with her to discuss options and was very open & honest with her. The boys parents were full of joy and bought all the stuff for the baby... I thought what weirdos! Your other question the apartment... Unfortunately here in Ohio when a child gives birth to a child they're legally emancipated. But my daughter did stay with me for awhile then decided to move in with her boyfriend. Check on your states laws on this. Question about your youngest child don't worry about her the baby crying is great birth control! And last but not least your daughter is very scared & needs to know you still love her but are very disappointed of the situation. Please tell her that she can still finish school go to college it'll just be a little harder now. And for you Michelle once you hold that baby you'll forget all the heart ache & peace, joy & love will fill your heart again. I'm praying for you & your family. If you need someone to talk to just add me to your circle & message me.

C - posted on 11/10/2013

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Hi Michelle, I am sorry to hear your trouble. I have a 15 year old as well, I would be very upset if she came home and told me she was pregnant. To be honest you are mourning for all the hopes and dream you have for your daughter. Unfortunately, this has to change, you will have to support her through this, and please, remember when you were having your own children and how exciting that time was, in light of that remember there is a little life coming to your family and your love for that life will be enormous. I was raised to believe that a baby is never a mistake! Now plans will have to change, but I would not let her move into an apartment with the baby's father, that is not a good idea. You will be very proud of your daughter when this is over, and you will see her as a strong young lady.

Lorraine - posted on 12/19/2015

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I'll suggest a different type of advice. Spend a weekend at home alone with your family. No boyfriend. And have a conversation with your daughter about whether of not this is truly what she wants. Making an adoption plan might be an option if that is what is decided. As far as his parents are concerned- I think that you politely need to tell them to slow down and let this process unfold. I think they moved ahead way too fast. Perhaps speak to a counselor also. Whichever the outcome, I wish you well.

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