Need guidance on how to make my 18yrs son grow up - motivation to do anything zero!

Silke - posted on 09/08/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have an 18yrs son who still lives at home, is currently unemployed (for the past 10mths), zero motivation to do anything linked to work (job and/or chose at home). To top it up he has been diagnosed with anxiety and has a sick note for not working. His dad believes that he uses this as an excuse for a) not pro-actively looking for work b) staying up all night and getting up at lunch time; c) spending hours on social media sites (Facebook etc) ; d) telling lies (NOT huge ones where you get police knocking on your door), which causes distrust between us.

My husband does not like his son anymore, which causes friction between our relationship. We tried everything: parent classes, talking to our son, setting up reward scheme for chores, shouting etc.

I feel we are close to throw him out but stopped by the feeling be bad parents plus where would he go with no money, no way to support himself? Just typing all this makes me cry.

Please help!!!

2 Comments

View replies by

Lynn - posted on 09/10/2013

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He has to learn to be a man. I believe you should support your husband in his ideas to deal with your son. Maybe even get him an apartment (efficiency apartment) and pay for the first three months. Don't furnish the place or buy his groceries. Tell him he has 3 months to get a job. If he doesn't then he will be evicted, not by you, but by the landlord. That is what happens to adults that do not pay their bills.
Just be firm to not let him back home.

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