Needing advice about my teenage son

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Ok this is kinda out of the norm so I apologize, but I didn't want to tell any local friends. I have a son that is 15, and he has a best friend that he has grown up with in school since they were 5. He spends the night over a lot. Well a couple weeks ago I caught both of them masturbating to naked pics of me!! I assume they found them in my dresser while snooping. I know that 15 is a weird age for boys so I chalked it up to just them jerking off to a naked female body and nothing else. Also I was afraid if I said something that it would embarrass him so bad it could affect the relationship we have. So I said nothing and just walked away. Since then I have caught this happening a couple more times. Sometimes my son is by himself and sometimes his friend is with him, but every single time he is doing to the pics of me. I have also caught both of them trying to spy on me changing clothes a couple times. So now I'm 2nd guessing myself, and wondering. Am I a bad person/mom for allowing them to look at me naked and just acting like I have no idea in hoping its just a phase he will grow out of??

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Jacqueline - posted on 07/19/2013

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I would suggest getting rid of the pix and substituting more appropriate material like sports illustrated swimsuit edition or a more benign girly calendar. They are going to do their business. BUT this is inappropriate and needs subtle redirection.

Gayle - posted on 07/17/2013

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I am more worried about the spying then looking at the pictures. I wouldn't worry about it affecting your relationship, that ship has sailed. Get rid of the pictures. I think you need to talk to your son about privacy and repect. Leave out who the picture are of. You both know, and don't make that the issue. The issue is they are Seroisly invading privacy. Get rid of the pictures, start the first of many conversation about repect. Let him know that in our society you can not peep on anyone. You are not a bad person, just someone who had a situation you did not know how to handle.

If it seems to you that something more is going on then them having access to sexy pictures,trust your gut and get help frm someone who can help your teen.

Is there anyone you can talk to ? If not, talk to your DR. Believe me, as odd as it seems, these boys are not the only ones who have done this. I am just a tad baffled that you didn't get rid of the pictures the first time. Do so NOW.
Don't judge yourself . Just act right away, this could lead to very dangerous behavior if ignored.

Shelley - posted on 07/15/2013

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Woah. Okay, you need to take your child to a psychologist. That is not normal, nor is it okay. That's a serious issue as well because if someone were to find out, they could take it as you sexually exploiting them.

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