Newby but older Mom with similar problems

Susan Ellan - posted on 02/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have not read many of the posts here yet,but I think we all have a common interest. Although my child is a Man now, do they ever really grow up? Sometimes the problems stay with them through manhood.
My son is now 25. He was diagnosed with ADHD at kindergarten age. He was on Ritalin and Adderall and other meds all through school. He has always had behavorial problems.
Now he is struggling because of manic depressant and maybe bipolar disorder. He was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 21. Shortly after he was injured in a motor cycle accident. He has injuries but can still work, but is still on pain meds. Then he found out he has a thyroid issue.
He drinks alchohol to mask the pain of his depression. He is very smart but he still has maturity issues. He doesn't have coping skills to deal with life's disappointments. He doesn't like to told anything, but yet he can't manage to function on his own successfully

I read something one time about defiant disorder. I was positive that the description of defiant disorder fit my son to a T.

Our problems are different. My son does not live with me and my husband [step father]. He has managed on his own with some financial assistance from Us since his accident.

I have decided I need to find housing so I can take care of my son and provide a home for him because if not, he will be living in his car. If he will cooperate and let me get us a house together
I know this is all I can do. Financially it will be a struggle. My husband has two boys who both have struggles, so he will have to stay and be here for them. I do have income of my own and I am an artist on the side and can do house cleaning for some extra money.

I don't know if this is the right place to post my problems, but if anyone knows of decent housing for a struggling Mom and Son in the vicintiy of Austin, Texas, I would greatly appreciate any leads.
I need a small house with a garage so I can do my art, it is essential for my income. Two bedroom would be great. If anyone knows of some other online group I can find help from I would appreciate help.
I am thinking Some dear Old lady or man who lives alone and has a house and could use some looking after themselves, could rent out part of their house, or a room and the garage. I know safety is a key issue here but this could be a win win for someone needing help in their home and for Me and my son so I can help him and be there for him as long as it takes.
Thank you

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2015

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Wow. You honestly are "willing" to take over your adult son's life, even though you openly say "My son does not live with me and my husband [step father]. He has managed on his own with some financial assistance from Us since his accident"~~This tells me that your son IS managing, even if you have to give him 'some' financial assistance.

How about you, instead, suggest that he improve his situation by getting into counseling and treatment programs so that he can manage his medical conditions, and move forward with his life? You moving in with him so that you can baby him more isn't going to do the trick. Its great that you've 'decided' this is what's needed, but did you bother to ask your ADULT son what his opinion and input was?

Raye - posted on 02/20/2015

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This is not the right place for you to find living accommodations.

Is your son receiving counseling for his inability to cope? I'm not sure how you intend on helping him straighten out, as he has to be willing to change for any involvement on your part to work. Also, you said yourself you don't even know if he "will cooperate" by agreeing to your help. Why don't you both sit down, talk it out and then come to a conclusion on whether your proposed living arrangement would be the best course? If you decide on your own and tell him that's how it's going to be, he will most likely fight against you and refuse and be no better off.

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