Not sure if there is much advice anyone can give, but I can use some support....

Nancy - posted on 03/16/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a 13 year old daughter. She is bright, friendly, artistic and popular. She is also, unfocused, forgetful and disorganized! She did well academically in elementary school but had some issues with forgetting her homework, losing supplies etc.. Her grades were good, but not stellar. She scored well on the standardized tests and was well above her grade level in math. She finished fifth grade with honors and I decided to send her to a private/prep school starting in sixth grade. We had a unique opportunity to have her attend this top-rated school for an extremely reduced rate and she and I were both excited about the opportunity. My expectations were that this new school would challenge her to reach her potential while providing nurturing and support where it is needed. Within a few months of sixth grade, it became obvious that she had ADD and I made the decision to look into medication. This was not a decision that I took lightly. In fact, I lost a lot of sleep over it! She took Adderall for the remainder of sixth grade and into seventh grade (this year) but it seemed to have little or no effect so she is now taking Concerta, hopefully, this is what will help.. The problem Is that this private school has been both wonderful and horrible! She had excelled in music and art and has received recognition that would never have been possible in a public school. She also has made some wonderful friends and she is thriving socially. On the other hand, there seems to be a bit of an elitist mentality among some of the staff and, because of the ADD, and the rigorous demands of the curriculum, she is floundering academically and the teachers have very little patience or understanding of her needs. It is a very small school and they advertise the supportive small group environment and individual attention. Unfortunately, they are very supportive to the overachieving straight A students (which most of the students are). They are even teaching one of my daughters classmates calculus individually because she is so gifted. But, supporting my daughter with her needs is something that they don't seem to want to be bothered with. At the end of the first trimester, I met with the head of school and asked for a few minor accommodations. I teach special ed and what I was asking for is far less than what would be on a 504 plan if she were in a public school. Really what I wanted was for her teachers to be more proactive, the notify me if she fails a test or a quiz or forgets her homework and that they offer her extra help rather than waiting for her to come to them.. Her math teacher refused saying that I should have spoken to her directly rather than go to the head of school and she also said that she and my daughter do not get along very well so she does not think that my daughter would agree to extra help anyway.. When I asked my daughter about this, she said that it is true that they don't get along but she would definitely be open to help. I suggested that we meet and discuss it but the teacher refused. Her Spanish teacher just ignored my request all together.. The third trimester grades just came out and she has a D in math and a D- in Spanish.. Her Spanish teacher, who did not notify me of anything like I had requested, said, in her comments "She got a C- on one quiz and that was the highlight of the trimester for her". Sarcasm????? Cognitively, she is on level with her classmates and she can do well, but she is discouraged and beaten-down by this.. I could pull her out of the school and put her in a public school where she would have legally-mandated support, but to tear her away from the friends she has made and the amazing art and music opportunity would be devastating. Plus, she has the peer-pressure of high achieving students at the private school whereas she could align herself with not so positive peers in a public school.. Honestly, I have not been able to stop crying since Tuesday when she got her grades.. I would do anything to help her succeed, but I need some support from the school... Any thoughts would be appreciated!

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Jeanie - posted on 03/16/2013

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To tell you the truth not saying your child but a lot of the time some kids in private school are just as bad than public if not worse but they hide it. I know several kids that have went to private schools and you'd be shocked. If you pay all that money there must be something you could do or should be. Good luck!

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