Noticing behavior changes in my 16 year old daughter

Sweta - posted on 11/24/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter turned 16 in March this year. She started her junior year of high school this fall. We are Indian immigrants and both me and my husband were raised conservatively. We understand that we can't impose many restrictions on our daughter and she hasn't caused us any trouble.

Ever since she started her junior year of high school, I have noticed some changes in her behavior. She used to not lock her door and she does now. Of course, I don't go into her room without asking but we asked her to keep it open but she doesn't. I also see that she is using a lot more minutes on her phone. She has been asking for a smart phone which we wanted to give it to her after buying for this holiday season. I am wondering if I should give it to her or not.

She also asks me to buy her some short shorts and and crop tops which she never asked for before. I don't think she sneaks out but she has called me a few times to tell that a friend will be dropping her (3 or 4 times) after school. She is a member of a drama club at school. I have known her girl friends whose houses I visited and I know their moms. My husband told her before that she is not allowed to have a boyfriend until college. I am beginning to suspect if she is seeing someone. Should I confront her?

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Michelle - posted on 11/25/2017

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I wouldn't automatically think she was seeing a boy I would think she's trying to fit in with the other girls at school.
If you don't want her to lock her door then take the lock off. None of my children's bedroom doors have locks but they can close them. That's expected for privacy.
My teenage son is always on his phone to his friends.
At this age their friends are more important than anyone else. I remember talking on the phone for hours each night to my friends that I had spent all day with at school. This was well before mobile phones and my butt would get so sore sitting at the office desk.
Teens want their privacy and to a certain degree you have to give them that.

Hope - posted on 11/01/2018

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Sarah!! Love these rules!! All parents should print this and put it on the fridge today!

Jelousbug - posted on 10/22/2018

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My daughters are 16 & 18. These are the rules & their friends are to follow these rules as well. No exceptions. No excuses.

No short shorts. These are for sleeping in only. Don't leave bedroom.
No revealing shirts. Must cover stomach & chest fully.
No short skirts. If skirt needs adjusting upon sitting or standing. Change!

Want to stay at a friends? Ask by 7 p.m.
Staying night at friends? Home by 12 noon.

Inside by 10 p.m.

No name calling, being disrespectful or rude.
Treat everyone like you want to be treated.

Be a positive influence.

No passwords or locks on electronics.
I may at any time go through your bedroom, phone, tablet or computer with or without you being present.

Don't bring anything illegal in or to house.

Keep room clean. Only 1 reminder to clean room, if not clean it will be done by me with trash bags.

Slam your door. It comes off.



If my girls didn't follow these rules they were grounded from everything including t.v., phone, internet access of any kind on any device, friends & outside. They would be given a list of chores to be completed & checked by me every day of punishment.

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