online relationship between my son and a girl on line

Andrea - posted on 07/19/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I don't know what to do. He stays on his phone constantly and is obsessed with this girl. I have tried to block her but he always finds an app to download to speak with her. And I don't want to . Take the phone away or he won't have anyway to Chan contact me in an invent of an emergency. Now he wants to meet this girl. Her parents don't approve of this from what I understand but her grandmother helps her to talk with my son by making it possible for her to do do behind their backs. I don't approve of this or if this relationship. But I'm afraid if I say no HE will try to go behind my back to meet her which is more likely to be dangerous without me there to supervise because you never know when this could be a case of a predator or if it's real. I don't know which route to take. My son has threatened to hurt himself if I tell her parents who would most likely stop their communication all together. And I already have him in counseling for cutting himself. I need help.


Stacy - posted on 07/20/2014




You didn't say how they met. So I'm assuming this started out as an internet relationship. The good news is that you started him with counseling. Don't let him talk you out of it by saying he is better. Only the counselor can say that. Take the phone away when he is with you. I would advice purchasing a phone that can only send and receive numbers that you approve. Yes, they are kiddie phones but it will serve your purpose. Don't let him intimidate you by his threats. He knows you will give in. Cutting seems to be the first things out of kid's mouths to make their parents do what they want. If he says that again, say, "Don't threaten me. If I need to, I will go the hotline and have you taken to a hospital for trying to hurt yourself." If he tries it, then do exactly what you said you were going to do. For most teens, being in a ward at the hospital for suicidal threats will be enough to shake him up to never do it again. Also let him know that you will call the counselor and tell them too.

As to the girl, ask your counselor's advice on how to handle that situation. They can be a good mediator between you and the girl's parents so that they can be involved. This is your son's life at stake. This isn't something to put off and hope it gets better. The other issue is if this girl is the age of your son. What if she is an older woman and he knows it and that is why he is making the threats because he doesn't want you to find out. Try to find out as much as you can. You might be in a situation where it indeed could be predator problem. I would also suggest you take a trip down to the police station and speak with a private investigator. They can also give you tips as to how to handle the situation.

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