Our 14 year old daughter spends a lot of time in her room which is usually locked.

Jan - posted on 03/24/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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She is home schooled until May when school ends. Her grades have improved since being home schooled. I keep trying to get her into a routine, which is hard. I want her to be doing other things besides on the computer(she needs the computer for her online school). She does not go outside or play with the dog, he's been kind of ornery lately so I can understand that. He's just being an ornery puppy.

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Kristi - posted on 03/28/2013

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Ouch, that's rough. We moved 1500 miles across the country...making new friends is not always easy!

Does she seem depressed or angry a lot? Is she being really secretive and/or withdrawn?

This may just be part of the teen routine. If she refuses to participate in anything you make available to her out of the kindness of heart, then you'll have to make it worth her while. ; )

I'm also a little old school and will OCCASSIONALLY use the, Because I'm your mother and I said so, explanation to the "eye roll, sigh, why" chant of the human teenager. Maybe you might have to employ that one if all else fails.

Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open. As long as she's talking to you and keeping you (for the most part) in the loop, the rest of the stuff should work itself out.

Jan - posted on 03/27/2013

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She doesn't want to get out of the house like she used to. That means friends, exercise, even the movies. We had locked doors when I grew up. She just isn't real sociable. She does have contact with her friends though. We moved here from across town last year so I'm trying to make friends too.

Kristi - posted on 03/27/2013

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I'm not exactly sure what you're asking for here. But I can tell you one thing, there are no locked doors in my house. Closed doors, yes. I knock on the door most of the time. I also pop in from time to time just so my daughter knows I'm still paying attention. She is also not allowed to have the computer in her room. She does her school work and any other activity on it out in the kitchen.

She does spend time in her room but she is dancing and putting outfits together. She practices with make up even though she can only wear powder and mascara until high school. She is involved in sports.

What kinds of things is your daughter interested in? Can you sign her up for any summer camps or other activities? What does she do for exercise? Does she have friends over or go to the movies or the mall or anything with them? Why don't you have a special mother/daughter day or night with her once every two weeks or a month? Every Friday my daughter and stepson would get our favorite junk food, rent a movie, get our blankets and pillows and camp out in the living room. It was fun and special. My daughter and I still do it.

I am assuming you are looking for ways to get her out of her room. You are also the parent and she is the child, you can still set rules. For instance, she can only be on the computer for X amount of time. She has to pick one activity to join. No electronics at the dinner table or after bedtime. Just some thoughts.

I hope this helps. If you need different advice, please be more specific about what you want help with.

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