Out of control 15yo boy, getting drunk at girls house

Violet - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I got a fb message from a loose friend of mine who has a 14 yo daughter :

I want to communicate with you about what happened at my new home while we were away at ceremony. Your son stayed overnight with previous instructions never to stay at my home without permission. Our new home was trashed when we returned on Sunday, your son and friends were hiding in my daughters closet. Beer and ganja was spilled and spread all over my new home, even in my master bed. I want your son to know that he is never, ever allowed in my home again. I will call the cops if I see him here,. I have much love for your family, but your son and company deceived me with lies and caused a four hour cleanup of damage and burns on my new floor, causing me a loss if my very high security deposit. Sorry for the info, but I caught him red-handed abusing my good will. Please tell him that his police record will develop if he ever comes here again. I have no qualms with you. I just have to put an end to vandalism to my home. He was part of a major destruction of our previous home in many outrageous and drunken teenage parties, taking advantage of our good will.


This was the message I got and started talking with the father about it. I found out that he has witnesses my son drunk on at least one other occasion. Then I find out they are, or the girl is stealing the hard liquor from walmart. I am really upset and ready to do what ever it takes to make this stop. I thought he was a good kid with some self esteem problems but this is just over the top for me. I wish this man would have told me sooner but at least he finally did. The other kids were two other boys. So there are three boys getting drunk with a 14 yo girl. It sounds pretty scary to me and I'm ready to put my kid in rehab or send him to my parents or something drastic. I don't think just talking will do it because I've always had a pretty good line of communication with my son and he knows he can talk about anything with me and he chooses not to. He's very angry a lot of the time, and cusses at his sisters a lot.

I welcome any advice or suggestions.

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Jodi - posted on 04/18/2013

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How is he getting away with spending the night in someone else's home with no parents there without you knowing about it? I'm just curious, because that seems to be part of the problem. There is no WAY my 15 year old would even be IN that situation in the first place......

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Jodi - posted on 04/18/2013

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It was just a curiosity. Yeah, lesson learned. He never goes and stays at someone's house unless you have spoken to the parents and know the plan!!

However, in the meantime, if it were my son, he'd be pretty much grounded for a fair while!

Violet - posted on 04/18/2013

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Jodi, because I was too trusting and thought he was over at a boys house.
Never again. He's grounded and will never spend the night out again unless I talk to the parents first.
This other family left their daughter alone for the night. She invited the boys over.

Lakota - posted on 04/18/2013

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Talking with him at this point isn't going to do it. If he was my son, here is what would happen: he would only be allowed to leave the house to go to school and/or if he participated in sports or something else. That's it. No friends over, no going out with friends, etc. His "friendship" with these boys would end. The not talking thing with you isn't unusual. But, all of his "rights" would be taken away until he could prove to you that he can be trust worthy.

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