Parent-Teen Relationship

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jamie - posted on 12/03/2009

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Quoting Monica:

Hello...........I am a 29 year old mother of a 13 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. We are all very close and I run across the attitude problem every once in a while mostly with my son, but my worst fear is my daughter becoming a teenage mother just like I did. We talk about it all the time and how having a baby would end your fun times by having to raise a baby........................Scared!



Monica, I am in the same boat.  I am 30 and my daughter will be 14 in February.  I also have a 6 and 4.5 year old.  My relationship w/ my teen is very very very stressed.  I have found notes that have sexually explected(sp) stuff in it.  My fear is that she will come to me in 2 years saying she is pregnant.  As you know, we have to tread lightly when we tell them why we don't want them to have a baby that young.  We cant just say, "it will ruin your life and its a big mistake and its not worth it, etc", because then they look at you thinking, oh so I ruined your life, I wasn't worth it and I was a mistake.  I tell my daughter that I am thankful for her and I love her, but if I had to do it over again, I would have her a little later in life, cuz I couldnt imagine her not being here....Its hard though, very hard....I do have her on the shot, she and her sister were "pill" babies!  NOT going that route!  Some people say well you are promoting her having sex, I say, I don't think so.  I am telling her if she is, use a condom, but if they don't have one, she is protected.  I have made it very very clear that I DON"T want her having sex, but I also dont' want to worry that if she does, if she is protected....what are you thoughts?? 



I would love to chat more, if you are intrested, just send me a friend request!



 



take care and hope to talk soon!!



Jamie

33 Comments

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Bj - posted on 08/04/2012

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I have a 14 yr old daughter who lives with her father who has sole custody, I have court ordered visitation which is to be every other weekend and yet in the last 5 months i have seen her once for like 5 hrs... :( i keep asking her if she wants to come for a overnight visit since i live 1.5 hrs away now and she always refuses because she has other plans(drinking with her friends). It hurts alot, feels like she is ripping my heart out more and more each time. I am frustrated, hurt, disappointed, etc.

So my question is how do I get her to atleast come visit me? without me feeling like she is pushing me away from her every time I ask if she would like to come... :( :( crying as I typed this

If anyone out there has some advice on how to get my daughter to see me, or to know how not to let it hurt so bad...

Gina - posted on 12/08/2011

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My 18 year old son is a senior in high school, he is in a relationship with a girl that just turned 16. We live in Wisconsin and I am worried if the relationship turns sexual he will be sent to jail. I need advice...

Kathy - posted on 05/10/2011

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hi there l have a 14 yr old daughter who hasn't lived with me full time for 8 yrs now , l believe her guardian has manupated her big time , she is the one who is caught in the middle . l love my daughter alot and think about her everyday . we aren't getting along at the present time and l do want her and myself to have a relationship and come back to live with me . Everytime l try talking to her she never seems to listen or share anything with me What l'm l doing wrong
please help me

Sarah - posted on 11/22/2010

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Help!My 15 year old daughter doesn't like her father! I knew she didn't care for the way he does things, but tonight she said she hated him. She won't talk to him. I told him this now he's mad. What should I do???

Michele - posted on 08/13/2010

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Hi everyone. Mom to three. 20 and 16 year old boys and nearly 15 year old girl. It's a constant battle everyday with the two younger ones. What was I ever thinking having them so close together? It was fun when they were little and now it's drama everyday. Love them to death but boy is it challenging!

Katrina - posted on 07/22/2010

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hello all ive got two step children 18,17 and three kids that live with us 14.5,13and a 6 year old.im finding it hard as each of them have issues which needs time
my 18yearold girl is having a baby in sept soo wants daddy to help
my 17 yearold boy has had scraps with the police which bring its own issues
my own elder children are very sporty which mean theyre very competitive even at home.worldwar three errupts quite often
the 13yr old girl is very aggresive and is almost jealous of my 6 year old
i hope they all will grow up mentally as the seem to b in the same phase i love them all but they drive me crazy xx

Ayu - posted on 02/23/2010

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Greetings from New Zealand. I have a 15 year old girl who will be turning 16 in June. She's a typically only child who can get extremely jealous of my boyfriend. Like everything else, I hope this stage will pass.

Kati - posted on 02/12/2010

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I'm down to my last two children at home and still have after three older children have not conquered the sibling rivalry.

Donna - posted on 02/12/2010

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Hello,everyone,i am 42,and have,one 13yr.old.I am so blessed that so far,no problems,she dont,try me,i am hip to all games,and what i say GOES,i am a single parent,i have,many rules,and she will follow them.She is very intelligent,cute as hell,and i want her to stay that way.I tell her everyday,there is greatness to day for you.

TARA - posted on 02/07/2010

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I have a almost 13 yr old daughter, and our relationship stinks, we dont get along, we fight with each other all the time, her dads the hero and im the zero..... single mom trying really hard. we have been counsling, didnt work my daughter was so bad in the office, that they didnt want us to come there any more, we tried to get in home but my ins. wouldnt pay for it. i just dont know what to do any more.. please help!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria - posted on 01/19/2010

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To Chetna, if you haven't already been encouraging your boys at a young age that they can come to you at any time to talk about anything and everything, keep reminding them. Repetition will imbed the message in their minds. But when you do, mean it and be prepared for what you hear. Keep an open mind. I have to admit that sometimes, I don't like what I hear, but I have to listen to everything they have to say. I have two of them, and I have to put into consideration that both have different personalities and take on different takes to same situation. Just keep encouraging them, and always keep the lines to communication open. You'd be surprised to find that one day they'll openly come to you at their own volition.

Maria - posted on 01/05/2010

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Quoting Fely:

Hi Maria, i have 15 year old daughter who is very responsible at home and at school, I am very proud of her, I am just hoping that she is not going to change when she goes college....


Hi, Fely. I understand your anxiety. I do feel the same way about my two boys, ages 17 & 16. I'm just thankful that I still have my mom to talk to once in a while! Lol Seriously though, my husband and I remain consistent with at least one or two important house rules, whichever they are, is up to you. The rest is either negotiable or non-negotiable, or we compromise, depending on the situation. It's really a case-to-case basis. We have to do it this way with two teenage boys! But, there is hope though. From experience, when you keep your communications open, whether you like what you hear or not, you'll find out that they ARE in fact listening. We learned to read between the lines, so to speak. And trust your intuition as a parent.

Maria - posted on 01/05/2010

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Quoting Tonia:

Hello everyone. I am a 49 year old mother. Just recently served with divorce papers a week before Christmas. My 16 year old son is staying with his father and has little contact with me. I am trying to be patient. Any encouraging words or advice would be helpful. I miss my son terribly. Thanks.


Hi, Tonia. Wow, what a way to spend Christmas! I'm sorry to hear that. By any chance are you still on speaking terms with your ex? The reason being that this may be one of the few times you may still need his help to get through to your son. Is there a reason your son is not in contact with you? I hope you don't get this the wrong way, but if there's any way you can get a chance to talk your ex into getting your son into counseling, it may help him understand. He may be feeling some type of guilt in your break-up. I'm not professing to be a psychologist now, but my husband and I went through some rough times in our 20 year marriage, and it affected the boys. And usually, for whatever reason, it's almost akin to boys to remain emotionally unattached until you bring them to counseling, then whatever bothers them comes pouring out. In the meantime, just keep working at your relationship with your son, it's just all new to the both of you. If you can, ask if you can visit to see him sometimes. Don't wait for him to reach out to you. 



Wishing you the best of luck and hope everything works out well soon!

[deleted account]

Hello everyone. I am a 49 year old mother. Just recently served with divorce papers a week before Christmas. My 16 year old son is staying with his father and has little contact with me. I am trying to be patient. Any encouraging words or advice would be helpful. I miss my son terribly. Thanks.

Adrian - posted on 12/19/2009

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hello everyone I have 2 teenage boys one who is 18 and he is not motivated at all right now to do anything school he quite his job at Fed Ex last week and i'm not sure he understands that I can't provide all the time I have other obligations myself.

Shannon - posted on 12/17/2009

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Well i have a 13 year old who is pregnant...yes, the stress of it all used to get me down but things could be much worse. She's a runaway- repeatedly. Wants to sty in Atlanta with her Dad and I know deep down in my heart it's the wrong move. So i've been dealing with all the lyoing,stealing, rebellious attitude and whatever else she brings to the table. Prayer works because if it didn't I'd be in prison. I also have a 15 year old who tries me on the cool but he's a very well mannered young man. My kids are my everything however had I listened when wisdom was being given to me I would have had them later in life. I am 33 years old.

Rhoda - posted on 12/06/2009

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My 13 year old daughter and I have not been getting along for the past 5 months at least. She has run away before. And she doesn't listen to me alot of the time. She doesn't want to help out around the house with any kind of chores. She has been very rebellious towards me. I usually like haveing a beer or 2 and our arguments get worse, because she doesn't like me drinking. Now her father is trying to get temporary custody because Haley is mad at me for all of our arguments that we had. There were a few that were somewhat abusive. It seems like she trys to provoke me. Tomorrow is our court date and I am worried that I am going to lose sole custody of my daughter. I haven't drank in over a month now. She doesn't even want to see me. I am very hurt by this.

Fely - posted on 12/04/2009

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Hi Maria, i have 15 year old daughter who is very responsible at home and at school, I am very proud of her, I am just hoping that she is not going to change when she goes college....

Tamika - posted on 11/16/2009

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My daughter is so stubburn. But not as stubburn as me. I guess that's where she gets it.She is 15 and mannerable, but hey!

Lynette - posted on 11/15/2009

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This teenage stuff is so much harder than pottytraining, terrible 2's kindergarted and losing the first pet combined! I have a daugher16,son14, daughter 12, son 11.
My girls tell me everything, my sons NOTHING!

Monica - posted on 11/04/2009

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Hello...........I am a 29 year old mother of a 13 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. We are all very close and I run across the attitude problem every once in a while mostly with my son, but my worst fear is my daughter becoming a teenage mother just like I did. We talk about it all the time and how having a baby would end your fun times by having to raise a baby........................Scared!

Jan - posted on 10/11/2009

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Hi Maria, my children are Keeley 25, Vicci 23, Adam 19 & Paige 14. My relationship with my eldest 2 is fantastic, but has had its ups & downs over the years. My son seems to think he is a law unto himself but is very loving & his friends all call me mum or Mrs R. My youngest is going thro that awkward age, she seems to think that its ok to be rude to me as long as she says sorry!! but they all come good in the end. Good luck.

Tammy - posted on 10/11/2009

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hello all happy fall iam 38 years old and have a 17 16 13 9 year old boys they are my pride and joy...hard part is i have joint custody and only see them a little bit during the school year, which is very hard on me, look forward to meeting new moms blessings tammy

ANDREA - posted on 08/13/2009

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I HAVE 2 TEENAGE BOYS AND A PRE TEEN BOY AND A TWEEN GIRL, BUT ONE TEENAGE BOY IS MY STEPSON

Lori - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hi everyone, I have two teenage daughters taht are growing up way to fast for me....

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