Politeness and cuteness will only take you so far

Reeny - posted on 01/19/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son, well he's a pretty sweet 13 year old kid. Well mannered in public and so loving and innocent in many ways. He's had it rough, with his biological father pushing him away and well many of you have gone through that hell (you feel me)! Okay well I met the love of my life, Martin; the man that actually raised my son, OUR SON because he would boast with great pride that he was his number one, his little boy. He was more of a father, the best father that I have ever met. But we had our ups and downs with our son. Our son was doing so so in school after always doing great in school, and I know its because his biological father wanted to come into the scene after so long that he started to act poorly in school. Well I could see him stressing about it so I wasn't to hard on him or his dad Martin. Well my fiancé Martin, my sons god sent daddy, passed away this past March 2015. Everything took a turn for the worse. I know my son is grieving and lashing out and I've tried to talk to him about not giving up but its not working. Ive cried, i've yelled, I've threatened and taken away his things but he doesn't care. His grades dropped completely and he is so lazy at home, its insane. I've talked to him, begged him, asked him and its stressing me so bad. My health isn't exactly the best. So I try and reason with him. I always tell him to please just do what you have to do, try and I won't be upset and telling you things every single day. I even printed out chore charts, lists to follow (with very easy stuff to start him off) but its no use. I know my son loves me but the lack of respect for me is incredible. He always says sorry and cries when he sees me crying, I know I should be strong but with the passing of my partner I feel so alone and cornered, its hard. But still he continues like I never spoke to him. I work far, so I need to be up in the morning 430 am and coming home 630-7 pm...its really hard for me to work my ass off, provide for my son and deal with this...when I've tried it all. Tutoring, sports, counseling, reward charts, taking the tech stuff away...freezing his social accounts, meetings with his teachers and principal...What the hell should I do? Military school. Martin forbade that, and I don't want to go against my loves wishes out of respect, but what else can I do? ( The reason being and exactly his words: we can never give up on our son and just send him away). I will not allow my son to fail. Its only me, I have no help. I feel horrible, like I'm letting him down but I seriously don't know what to do. I know he misses his daddy martin and so do I, everything's just bad now. Please some advice?

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