Pot vs drinking for teens

Dennis - posted on 02/02/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Ok both are illegal for teens. However teens are not stupid they know how to argue the point. They see all the drugs we take abd commercials advertising them. My main point besides the legality. Is that it will most certainly affect motivation and delay or retard mental maturity in the early teen years at least. But compared to drinking or stealing medicine from our cabinets then becoming opiate addicts. I truly cant say much more. Pot is the lesser of all evils. On top of that my daughter knows i have smoked medical marijuana for a five level cervical fusion to deal with pain rather than become addicted to opiates.
She does understand that alcohol and pot are still illegal for her at least until a certain age.
How can we continue to rationalize this and not that. Our children are on adderrall antideppresants etc etc.
my only defense has been to point out how any and all of these can lead to ruin and death when abused from personal observations in life. Even going so far as to show her pictures of friends who died way way to young. As for pot i can point out friends who maybe are still where they were twenty years ago who are chronic smokers . No car wrecks no ruined families no loss of everything . So how do you convince a teen it is a bad thing to be just like they are now in twenty years?? When they like who they are ??
I never smoked in front of my daughter or even where she could smell it. She knew by the time she was twelve from friends she had seen smoking it. Yes this scared the hell out of me too. For the young girls who yes will lower their inhibitions from smoking.. Still not as much as alcohol though??
Yes my main argument for all these to my daughter is how it will affect her judgement especially about Sex
Of course thats a whole other subject.
Help!!! I guess the question is how not to be hypocritical and at the same time not glorify usage to our kids.. I have friends that live in the woods and homeschool .. Without computers.. But for the rest of us can we really teach them to "just say no" as Nancy Reagan so foolishly coined a movement when i was growing up.
Ok so now that you can see by my rambling that " silver linings" was based on me .. Lol. Let the comments flow

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Mary - posted on 02/02/2013

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Sorry, forgot another point. Regarding adderrall, antideppressants, ... that is not a reason to o.k. this. I know lot's of functioning alcoholics... that doesn't mean it's acceptable.
I feel strongly that we must find out inner strengths and rely on them instead of pills, drinks, drugs, when we experience rough times/events. That with a strong faith in something, 'good' we can make it through this life and help others in the process. That IS the meaning of this life!

Mary - posted on 02/02/2013

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This culture is trying to pull our families apart child, by child. Girls and boys are different and go through different stages based on family beliefs, their self esteem and outside influences. No one is perfect, and, this journey called life is all about the mistakes made or seen and what you learn or don't learn from them and how you redirect your journey, or not.
You are not being a hypocrite if you to not support either. The just say 'no' is not wrong, it's just really difficult in this culture when there seems to be so many negative paths and therefore we feel like we are saying 'no' all the time.
With having 4 children of our own, ages 15-21, I find that parenting is more of a balancing act that differs with each child based on our instinct.
I believe she is old enough to have a serious conversation with her, withOUT admitting each mistake but admitting that you have made them...parents are the guardrails for the child so that they will not make as many! I don't think any parent should feel guilty for saying 'no' when you should.
Good luck!

J - posted on 02/02/2013

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Hi there! Wow!! Sorry to hear you are going through this with your daughter. I have not directly delt with this specific situation but can relate to telling my kids no about something that I am doing or have done, ie: drinking or other activities that are legal for adults but not children. The way I rationalized this is that sometimes in life the answer is just NO! It doesn't always have a good or logical reason. This is true for many things..ie: driving, it is a known thing that you cannot drive until you are 16 (sooner or later depending on where you live) no matter how much they want to or throw a fit or anything else, that fact does not change that they may not get behind the wheel of a car until they are of age.

I hope this makes sense to you and is of some help! Good luck!!

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