Problem getting teenage son to stay in school all day

Angela - posted on 03/04/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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It's his first year of high school and he can't seem to want to stay all day in school. I am at my ropes end trying to keep him there. I've ready some of the conversations, and I liked the one where a mom followed her kids to each class. I have threatened him with that, but he just breaks down and crys uncontrollably so that I won't do it.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster with him these past 4 months, that I don't know what to do any more.

Any suggestions?????

7 Comments

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Sherwood - posted on 10/25/2017

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you need to give tough love and follow through with what you tell him. i heard it works to follow your kids to each class and wear your pajamas too. they will be embarrassed but i bet they will go to school

Stella - posted on 03/20/2013

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Home schooling will allow him to earn his credits and graduate. Again I would hate to be a teen of today. Sometimes I wish I could put Marissa back in my belly. LOL, she was safe there and did not have to deal with all of the drama. My issues with her are anxiety, drama and haters in school. It is so tough. I just took her to the MD today and we are going to start a mild anti-anxiety med. Not so thrilled about the medication, but her anxiety is really causing issues in her daily life. Just remember, you are not alone. We give them life, love them, support them and try to be good role models but at this time of their lives they have to take the rose colored glasses off and see that the world is a scary place. So many choices right and wrong. They want to be accepted and liked but its all based on looks, clothing, money and status. Unfortunately, so much of that doesn't change in the grown up world but we learn how to accept the hand we are dealt. Not always easy to accept but we do. His brain is still developing and will not be fully developed until he is 25. Just continue to listen, no judgement and lots of love. I have learned not to scream and yell, it just causes them to shut down. For so long, I have let the tail wag the dog. The dog is now trying to wag the tail. They are our children and still look us for boundaries. I have been looking on line a lot and have been reading articles that will help me help her. I actually found a book called, princess b***ch face. Not so thrilled about the title, but the information looks very helpful. Threats do not work, I tell her she has choices and when she makes her choice she will have to live with the consequence, good or bad. So she must really thing long and hard. I am going to get her into a counselor to see if we can get to the bottom of her anxiety. What classes does your son have in the afternoon? Maybe he is tired and does not want to deal with the harder classes such as math. Maybe a counselor can help you get to the issue at hand. I hope you find the answer just as I am searching. If you have any suggestions for a stressed, anxious, mouthy, moody, emotional 13 year old girl and her tired and hopeless mom, please give it. Thanks Stella

Stella - posted on 03/20/2013

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Im really not sure if the offer this anymore but when i was in high school I was in O.W.E. It stands for occupational work experience. I went to school for 4 hours in the morning then would go to work and I go credit for working. Maybe they offer something like that. The trade school I was talking about was in the high school years. The kids can go 11 and 12th grade. If all else fails, what about letting him do home school?

Angela - posted on 03/20/2013

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Thank you for the advice, and yes, if he decides that college is not for him, I will be looking at getting him into a trade school of some sort where the time spent is less than a regular college and hopefully he will get into something he will enjoy and then venture out into the work force.

He goes in the morning no problem, but then has a hard time staying for his afternoon classes, no idea why.

Stella - posted on 03/20/2013

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Angela,
These kids have it so much harder today than when we were in school. Have you talked to him about home schooling? In Ohio, the state will provide you with a computer and all of the school supplies free of charge. You have to get it through his head that without at least a high school diploma his life will be so hard. Not everybody is cut out to be a collage grad, however he does need his education. Also, we have trade schools. The kids are allow to enroll in Butler Tech and they are able to enroll in their area of interest. Things such as horticulture, auto mechanics, child care, cooking ect... Its not traditional school, but they are able to learn in an environment that is interesting to them. There are other options for him. But he has to know that he is going to get his diploma if its the last thing you do. He needs to help you help him. I really feel for you and hope that I may have helped you.

Lyssa - posted on 03/05/2013

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Unfortunately I have the same problem with my youngest who is 13 and hates school. Everyday she tells me how school is like a prison and I have tried everything to get to the bottom of the real reason but am at a loss. Whilst she is still in Middle School I am able to make sure she stays in school but my concern is what will happen in High School which is why I feel for you. I am trying to get the school to do tests on her to see if there is a learning disability that is preventing her from enjoying school but at this point, I am considering homeschooling her or finding a small private school where she will have more of a group setting but that is very costly. It is hard.
Can't you ask the Dean not to allow him off campus at lunchtime? I know most of the kids go out but I am sure they must have lunch on premises too?

Angela - posted on 03/05/2013

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He walks out of the school at lunch time and goes home. He has missed his last two period more than he has attended them. I ask him constantly why, and he says he's bored or just doesn't want to be there. I thought he was being bullied, but that is not the case. He simply just hates being in school.
I keep reminding him that he is legally bound to be in school and that if he continues he will need to change schools and start all over, it doesn't seem to register.

I know people have said the first year is the worse and that it gets better, I am trying to speed up time so we can get past this. It doesn't seem to work.
Thank you for the comments, greatly appreciated.

Lyssa - posted on 03/05/2013

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I had a lot of trouble with my son last year also during first year of high school. Thankfully, now he has settled down and understood how important school and his grades are but during that 1st year, it is a very tough transition for them and they feel pressure from all sides. How does he leave school - he just walks out or you get phone calls from the nurse? if it is the school calling, don't go pick him up. I drive my son to and from school everyday and try to keep tabs on him at lunchtime too - it is definitely not easy and yes it is an emotional time but it has gotten a lot better this year. Maybe talk to the school guidance counselor or psycologist. Good luck.

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