Sexual Text messages from my 15 year old daughter to boys

Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My ex and I share 50% custody of our 15 year old daughter. We found out that she has been contacting guys online (at least 4 or 5 of them) and has been having pretty intense sexual conversations with these guys. She also has been video chatting with them too. I have no idea if there have been inappropriate pictures sent, but I can only assume there has. My ex took her phone away and went through some of the messages and it would be enough to make any parent sick! At this time, he has taken away the wi-fi access at his house. Has anyone had this problem and how did you handle it?

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Linda - posted on 11/25/2013

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You are doing the right thing and you are not alone. I have a 15 year old son and I too checked my son's phone because the texting seems to consume so much of his time. This is the second time I have gone through his phone with a fine tooth comb. The first time inappropriate conversation mostly from the girl. Next time he joined in and it got worse. The long and the short of it is I too was shocked at the conversation between my son and this girl. Also the conversations with his friends! It seems as if it's common place. Saying that, it's not acceptable. Last night was the final straw. I took his phone and read all of the inappropriate text out loud to him. I threatened to text the girl and he obviously was upset about it. Today I spent the ENTIRE morning implementing a monitoring plan. He has an iphone and I do not. So, I contacted my wireless carrier and explained and asked what can I do.

-I activated a feature online that allows me to see every text that is sent and received on my sons phone. All I have to do is log in and it's real time for the text.

-Because my son set up the Apple ID we use the same one. Even for my ipad! I will start using the find my phone feature to see where he is at a given time. I activated the messenger to my ipad. All messages used this way will go to my ipad and I will see them. These messages will not go to your phone because I don't have an iphone.

-Lastly I will ask for access to my sons face book account to check messages as they can send messages that way also.

Will I tell my son? Absolutely. We must know what's going on. While it's painful and disappointing we have to guide them as they honestly don't have a clue as to what the consequences are for what they are doing. Peer pressure is alive and well.

Hang in there!

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Jennifer - posted on 04/07/2013

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It sounds like you are on her and are doing the right thing and you have to be until they earn respect and trust. I had to have her dad take away her phone cause she tried to get physical with me when I tried to take it and got into a battle. I had to tell him to take it from her cause she does not respect me to just give it to me when I tell her to. Your right, they think they are grown and know everything! That is the problem with these types of phones, they can be talking to guys from all over the place. She was talking to guys in other states from out of state about sexual things and even guys locally! I was so shocked that the daughter I raised would be talking to people that way...it was sick! I feel for you being that your daughter was 12 and doing this! I guess this is a more common problem than I suspected. Keep up the good work with your daughter, it sounds like you have her in check. They may hate us for it, but it sure beats having a 15 year old pregnant or with some vd. Its for their own good!

Lala - posted on 04/07/2013

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I am sorry and in pain also. Theses girls.dont hv or demand
Respect and think they r grown. Mine stays suspended
And boy crazy and thinks i am in her business. As long
As she in my house i go through purse bookbags drawers
Which i foind a boys hat. She lies on me to others when she is the
Problem.

Jennifer - posted on 04/07/2013

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Wow, I wish you luck with your daughter too. I had no idea that girls were doing that so young! I took away her phone, but after talking to her today, I found out there are apps they can get that allow chats. She has completely abused her privileges for phone use. Thanks for sharing your story with me.

Lala - posted on 04/07/2013

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Yes mine started at 12 she is 14 now and still no cell i will not be getting her a new one
. I turn off wifi at nite abd chk her pad she still up to her
Old tricks so I took it too.we don't get along at all cause i catch
Her in her lies and deceit. While at home u can monitor that
Hope it gets better. But stop paying the bill when theu cant follow rules.

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