Should I allow my 16yro daughter visit her father in jail?

Sandra - posted on 03/06/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 16yro daughter's father has been in jail for 5 mos. now not sure how much longer bc case has not gone to trial yet, if they find him guilty he can go away for years. So I explained to her if he is going to be gone for years I will allow her to see him.but if he gets out soon then I'd rather have her see him out instead of behind a glass window. I don't want to expose her to that environment and think it's ok. She really doesn't care she just wants to go how it is to visit someone in jail. They aren't close. Her fathers family are all pretty messed up grandmothers narcissistic and father is pretty much the same. I left him when she was one and he has never been involved in her life. She wants to see him, but she doesn't understand why I don't want her exposed to that environment. Now I get attitude from her. Not sure what to do, should I change my mind?

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Flora - posted on 03/07/2016

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Hi,
I would not let her see him in jail especially if he has been involved in her life! Out of jail it is a different story but if he never been there for her and never wanted anything to do with her/for her it is not now in jail that he will. He might also reject her and that would be really hard for her. Especially a girl and at that age.
I would sit down and talked to her, explain to her why this type of environnement is not good and that when he will be out there will be plenty of time to see him but not in jail. A child, a teenager should not be going to this places.
She needs to understand that giving you attitude is not going to change your mind. She has to respect you decision as a mother. I understand it might be hard to be going thru this but he have to keep your foot down! She will eventually let it go

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Chasity - posted on 07/08/2016

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@Flora Diaz
Why shouldn't a 16 year old visit her dad in jail? She's old enough to make her own decisions.

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