Showering

Richelle - posted on 04/18/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm having problems getting my 17 year old daughter to shower I've tried everything encouragement telling her she stinks and even letting her pick out bath stuff it's been a week and her acne is worse and her hair looks like a greasy mess she had a boyfriend so I'm lost why does he not say anything help!!!

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Lala - posted on 04/18/2015

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Telling your daughter that she stinks is *not* "encouragement." That's an insult, and I bet she took it as such. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that she's put off bathing even more just to spite you!

Have you asked her *why* she doesn't want to bathe? Is she uncomfortable with her body, or her developing sexuality? If this issue bothers you so much, perhaps a few sessions of family counseling would help both of you to see each other's point: 1) her to see yours, that she needs to bathe to be socially acceptable, and 2) you to see hers, that not bathing is sometimes an expression of control, especially if she feels very powerless in her life, between school and home.

But telling her that she "stinks," is *not* the way to go about encouraging your daughter to bathe. Nor are backhanded compliments like,"But you look pretty when your hair's clean!" or "you smell better when you shower." Both of those are examples of negative thinking, and aren't going to get your daughter to shower.

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