Signs of my daughter starting her period

Rachel - posted on 07/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 11 yr old daughter (who i let use this acc) has most signs she has pubes boobs tummy aches discharge(recently turned clear instead of white/yellow) she does have mood swings but tries to hide them or controll them and she has no sign of her period tho. How long till she starts?

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Beth - posted on 07/31/2013

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Ohhh, how I remember that rough year (about) before the true menstrual flow began for my daughter! The horrible mood swings, PMS all the time, crying over just a look or wrong word from her step-brother, or serious anger about the smallest slight from someone at school! I used to joke with other mothers that girls should be locked up for the year before they started, but I remember how awful it was for me too, and I couldn't help but sympathize even when she was driving the whole house batty! It's a terrible time, no one seems to understand them, and they feel very alone and as hard as we try, they are just inconsolable! Having specialized in adolescent psychology, this is completely normal, and much like a child with disabilities, we just have to keep them from hurting themselves or anyone else. They can do serious damage without meaning to, and come to regret it later.

You ask how long to expect this to last? Well, try to think back when you first noticed the 'nubbies' or swelling of the nipples, or she began to have true body odor, or began to change moods without reason. Then figure about a year from that, and things will settle down into normal teenage craziness, and a whole new set of problems and issues. This is not a guarantee, some girls take more and some less, but it is a good rough estimate. Now is definitely the time to begin talking to her about how to take care of herself, deodorant, hygeine, proper use and disposal of tampons and pads, feminine deodorants, washes, and the dreaded subject of sex, sexuality and birth control. My daughter and I started having those talks a long time before she began that year before her period started, so it was nothing new when we discussed it. I don't know what your personal feelings are regarding birth control and teens, but we push (both her father and I) that we wanted her to wait until she was married, but I told her that I understood that it was her body and that should she decide NOT to follow our wishes, I wanted her to ALWAYS use condoms so she would be better protected from pregnancy and disease, and I would also put her on birth control. I put a small wicker basket in my private bathroom and filled it with condoms from the health department. I noticed when she was about 14 that the basket was etting empty, and I would refill it regularly. I did ask her if she was sexually active and if it was time to go see the doctor (the whole time I was trying desperately to maintain my calm and not freak out), but it turned out that she was GIVING THE SPEECH TO HER SEXUALLY ACTIVE FRIENDS AND MAKING THEM PROMISE TO USE CONDOMS! I hugged her so hard I thought she would pop! She ended up waiting, not until marriage, but until she was almost 18, in a relationship, on the pill, and used condoms. Her friends still tell me stories about how my daughter was the 'safer sex guru' of her school, and would give lectures to girls who were having unprotected sex. You never know what your kids will do with the information you give them, so talk to them honestly and earnestly, it may save more kids than your own!
Best of luck with your daughter, keep the Pamprin handy!

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Cassidy - posted on 06/02/2014

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I got my first cramp on Thursday and today (Sunday) I have had cramps i my lower back and stomach my mom didn't get her period till she was 13 but I'm only 10 (11 in 2 months) when will I get my period about just to be prepared!

Rachel - posted on 07/31/2013

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Thanks. My daughter is not easy to talk to about this kind of stuff if i bring it up she just changes the subject and blushes!

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