The Circle of Moms site will be discontinued on March 1st, 2020. Head to POPSUGAR Family's Facebook page for more community discussions.

Let's Go >>

Situational Anxiety???

Stacy - posted on 08/21/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




My 14 year old daughter, just started her Freshman year in high school...I really don't know what to make of the whole situation. Last year in school, she had some problems with a bunch of her friends, all of them actually. They all pretty much abandoned her, because one new girl had a problem with her. So, last May, I was surprised to hear that she wanted to try out for cheerleading. Well, she made the squad. All was fine, then she started school, just this last Tuesday. Every day since, she has been waking up with a nervous stomach. She detassled corn this summer, and had a few instances with a nervous stomach, then again with cheerleading camp. Its only in the morning, usually she is feeling better in a couple of hours. I don't know where to go with this, I've asked her if she is worried about things, or if something is bothering her.
I first thought that it was anxiety with the detassling thing, beings it was new to her. It seems odd though, that it was not the very first day that she worked, when her stomach was bothering her. Then the fact that the nervousness pass' in a couple of hours.
My husband says that I need to put stipulations on things to make her mind fool herself into thinking that things will be okay. Like if she goes to school later in the morning, to not let her do anything after school....or not have anyone over or to not let her go anywhere.
Has anyone had to deal with this? I don't know, she is at that age and stage where she doesn't talk to me about a whole lot of things, everything is "fine". Should I make her an appointment with our PCP, therapist, counselor or what? She makes these comments like she is all excited about starting high school and doing the cheerleading thing and making some new friends...I can tell that she is excited, I guess I just don't understand the anxiety thing at all....
Any input on this with be deeply appreciated....any therapists in the group?


Donna - posted on 09/06/2009




My daughter, who is now 15, had anxiety issues all during middle school. Last year, she suffered terribly. She would go into the bathroom with her phone and call us to come and pick her up because she was having an anxiety attack so bad she was afraid she would throw up at school in front of everybody. I felt as if I was constantly on the phone with the school or meeting with somebody from the school. The school just didn't understand at all and only made the situation worse. She had to stop taking the bus to and from school because of the anxiety it produced for her. I could give you a hundred examples of what she went through. We took her to her physician to rule out any physical causes first. She underwent neuropsych testing as well which helped to determine some cognitive issues (which caused her to feel frustrated and anxious, but which were solveable through learning strategies) and some mild depression. From there we found a psychiatrist who specializes in teens. He prescribed an anti-depressant and mild sleeping pill and worked with us until we found the right combination/strengths for her. We then got a recommendation for a therapist for her who she saw 1 time a week. She is a different child now. Self-confident, social, doing better in school, less anxious with no depression. It was difficult for her to accept help at first. But I am a mental health worker, and through honest communication and rock steady support from her family, she realized she wanted to overcome her anxiety. I am so proud of her. Though she no longer sees the therapist, she knows if she needs her again, she can go back. Don't just pick one out of the phone book, as this is a key relationship to dealing with her anxiety. Get recommendations. Good luck. I hope she has a wonderful 1st year in high school.


View replies by

Toni - posted on 08/23/2009




There are a lot of things that could be going on. I would recommend you definitely see your doctor first thing. This could be a hormonal thing, a intestinal thing or possibly an anxiety thing. There is no way to know until they start running test and eliminating ideas. Ask yourself is your daughter a nervous person by nature? Does she get worked up easily? How about her diet, does she go to the bathroom normally? What did she eat the night before these episodes? Do they happen more frequently around menstruation? Think about these things and document them and please seek medical advice. There could be an underlying medical problem, not everything is psychological. Good luck and god bless.

Melissa - posted on 08/23/2009




My husband has social anxiety, and he had a lot of the same red flags that your daughter does. His anxieties worsened in high school, and he ended up on 3 medications which he reacted to. Now, we have him on an all-natural anti-depressant, and life is good. I would suggest you try to get to the real message and then look for some other options. We love ours!

Wendy - posted on 08/21/2009




My daughter had the same thing all thru 6th and half of 7th, every morning without fail. We said we'd take her to a therapist, but that upset her more. She just now told me the reason, she felt awkward because she liked a boy and didn't know how to approach him.

Stacey - posted on 08/21/2009




I am not a therapist but it sounds like some anxiety she may need to see someone to talk to. she may open up better if she feels it is confidential and she can no feel judged. Some people suffer from social anxiety, I have a freind who does. good Luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms