Son is on his video games WAY too much, What do I do?

Darlene - posted on 07/09/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is 14 years old and is ALWAYS on his Xbox or computer games. He don't have any friends away from his games, he don't like going out anywhere or even outside, his grades are really low, he throws a fit any time I ask him to do any chores and he's been getting into trouble allot lately at school. I use to make excuses for him about his behavior at school because he use to get bullied allot but now he's the bully it seems like.

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Lula - posted on 07/10/2013

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Ditto Shawwn and Evelyn's advice. The one thing I'd add to taking the game system away would be to set up the rules on how and when he gets gametime and for how long. So maybe you decide if he does all his chores everyday completely he gets 1 or 2 hours of game time on Fri or Sat. When progress reports come out if he has gotten the grades you expect (ie no grade below a 'C' in any class), he gets 24 hours of gaming split up into whatever time intervals he likes. Any 'D's or 'F's and no additional game time is earned (all or nothing approach). The key will be for you to stick to your guns and enforce it. Really, you're doing a lot more than getting him off the game system, you're teaching him how the real world works as he is having to earn the play time, he will no longer 'have better things to do' so he will have more time for homework, and getting away from the technology often kickstarts your brain back into social mode and he may take interest in real vs virtual friends and physical activities like sports or just simply hanging with friends at the local pizza place or movies. Do keep in mind that there may be a period of technology withdrawal to contend with complete with temper tantrums, but if you hold up your end, they should pass in a few days to a week. Don't forget he likely had access to games on his phone and/or ipod too, so those may need to be included like the game system and he only gets the phone when he is going somewhere without you or even only let have it when you know he will need to call you when he is out odds are if he is out with friends and he needs to make an emergency call one of the friends will have a phone or just change his plan to a phone call only plan (no data) so he can't access games on it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/09/2013

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And why does he still have access to gaming?

Nuff said.

Quit making excuses, start enforcing consequences. Evelyn has stated it nicely, time to step up.

People used to call me a bitch because my kids didn't GET gaming items until they were older than 14, and I will STILL turn off the power to their rooms (yes to my 18 YO's too, if he gets pushy) if they don't toe the line. Alright, not so much my adult son anymore, but he's pretty good at self policing. Of course I was the bitch for so many other reasons...LOL...I demanded that my kids behave, and had consequences for poor behaviour in public, I demanded that my kids show respect for others, I ... well, lets just say I raised mine the way my grandparents raised me. They turned out great!

Consequences for behaviour are wonderful tools!

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Darlene - posted on 07/10/2013

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Thank you everybody for all the advise, I will try but probably should have mentioned before hand that my son has minor ADHD and lives with my parents at the time being for personal reasons but he does the same thing to them and he doesn't have a phone. So I don't know if any of this changes anything.

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