Son takes hours to do homwork and never finishes

Sherri - posted on 11/20/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old middle school son is very disorganized and slow to get to work, despite being bright and testing very high on standardized tests. He works 4-5 hours a night on homework, way more than is needed or expected. He is really stubborn, won't accept help and is not doing very well in school. He is stressed and unhappy. He has ADHD and is medicated, but that won't help slow processing speed. The school is trying to help but my son is not going for extra help. Even if he did, it's the homework time that is the issue. He also fails any test involving memory. He is also impossible to wake in the morning and gets to sleep too late (doing homework). It is very tense and unhappy in our home. We are looking into an appropriate high school, but don't know if we will have any options, as his grades are not good. Any suggestions? The school won't reduce the homework- they just tell him to work faster.

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Enna - posted on 11/20/2013

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That's hard. You're doing a good thing to try to find him a school for next year that will be more geared towards his abilities. And if the therapy is stressing him out more than it's helping, don't make him go. It's not worth it.
Maybe you could try to find him a tutor to help him get himself more organized. That's the problem my daughter has always had. You would have to find a way to get him to accept the help still, but maybe you could find an older friend or someone he likes who would be willing to help him out.

Sherri - posted on 11/20/2013

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He does have a 504 for extended time for tests, which does help.. He isn't eligible for an IEP as his test scores are too high.. They are not being at all flexible about the homework volume. I know he needs to take more responsibility, but he tends to get anxious and depressed and to shut down when we press him to go for extra help or talk to the teachers. He refuses to go to therapy too, though he does regularly take his medication.. I actually think the therapy is secondary to the educational stress. I wish the school was more flexible. It's a "prep" school and is probably not a great fit for him. We were not aware of his learning issues when he entered the school- it only became apparent in middle school as he had more demands put upon him.

Enna - posted on 11/20/2013

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Your son needs some intervention from the school. Do you have an IEP/education plan in place for him. You can make an agreement with them that he gets extra time on tests and possibly more time on homework (longer between due dates) or you might be able to get them to cut back on some of his homework depending on what it is. However, your son is old enough that he does need to be responsible for his work and talking to his teachers and getting help when he needs it. He's going into high school soon, and they aren't as forgiving.

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