Staying up all night!!

Zelda - posted on 08/18/2013 ( 31 moms have responded )

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The other day i found out my 13 year old was staying up all night using her laptop, reading,playing on her DS and listening to music. However I have no idea for appropriate consequences . Also this isn't the first time she as done this.and any good ideas are welcome.

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Cindy - posted on 08/20/2013

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All teens are thrilled to "stay up all night" and it doesn't mean they are doing anything wrong. They just think it's cool. I knew someone once who told their kids, "You can stay up as late as you want, but you will get up at 6 a.m. daily for chores without excuse." Each parent is different, each child is different, and each situation is different. Just use your best judgment.

Linda - posted on 12/07/2013

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Edit: Keep in mind the following applies to holidays. On school nights she should have a proper bedtime...

The truth is that staying up late at night is normal for all teens. I read in an article that teen body clocks are set 2 to 3 hours later than adults and kids, so they are inclined to sleep later and get up later. Most teens like staying up late because it's fun and night is actually when they are socially active. I'm shocked at some of the measures some moms take. You should never force them to charge their gadgets in another room because it makes them feel like you do not trust them and it's actually a very common problem. You shouldn't do this without some evidence that they may be doing something inappropriate. So to answer your question, I don't think your daughter should be punished for staying up late as long as it's not a school night and she wasn't doing anything wrong, it's quite normal for people her age. Read this: http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_i...
A long article but worth it. Hope I helped!

Jane - posted on 09/18/2013

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I have found that I need to have my girls 14 and 17, place all their electronics in the kitchen area when they go to bed. Kids are so used to having all of the devices going at the same time and need to learn how to shut them off and relax. I do not like the fact that all their friends have access to them at all hours of the night. I especially don't like that their boyfriends (only 17 year old) have that kind of access to her. They need to understand that this will only help them in school if they have a good nights rest that is uninterrupted.

At first my girls were upset by it, but Oh well, they did get over it. Can't be their friend, I need to be there Mom first.

Good luck

Kate - posted on 09/10/2013

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My son is now 18 and just started University. I used to nag him about his bad sleeping habits (especially when he woke me up during the night). My rule - was very simple. You deal with the consequences (but don't think you can miss school or call in sick for work just because you didn't get enough sleep). He is now being very responsible about getting up early and getting to bed at a decent hour... let your teenagers figure it out for themselves (but please make sure they aren't doing anything inappropriate at night first).

Gillian - posted on 09/09/2013

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I have a 13 year old daughter who does stays up crazy-late with her laptop. However, she has been a night owl since birth and a couple of years ago I just gave up on a set bedtime because she would literally lie awake for hours, unable to fall asleep. I tried warm milk, magnesium supplements, herbal tinctures and teas, melatonin, and finally Benadryl (only thing that really helped). Nowadays she is doing well in school and is a pretty darn good kid to have around. I do wish there was a late-start school where we live, but there's not so we are just improvising as we go. At any rate, though, imposing a consequence may not be necessary; the way you feel like crap after pulling an all-nighter should be consequence enough. Just make sure to point it out to her if she does it again. Oh, and I like the idea of charging devices at night in the living room!

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Earna - posted on 08/10/2016

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Hi found this post very helpful as I have a 12 year old and 15 year old who wants to stay up all night in the summer , texting and watching ,TVs and computer , in the Summer to 2 am in the morning, some times,

Sherry - posted on 01/21/2014

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I have the same problem with my 10 year-old stepdaughter. She can't go to sleep without her DS or DVD player. For Christmas she got an I-Pod shuffle, more electronic items... ughhh. I take it from her and hide the charger. I am like Hitler when this child visits for the weekend. But, my husband lets her do whatever she wants. I have to be the responsible parent. You have to take it away if she won't listen. We are the boss, not them. :) Good luck.

Tracie - posted on 12/08/2013

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I have two daughters ages 17 and 15, as long as they have had electronics of their own they have never been permitted to keep them in their rooms past 10pm when they are sent to their rooms for the night (unless there is something going on) The computers, phones and TV prevent them from winding down and relaxing.... they also began to take the place of reading books and brain stimulating activities such as word puzzles and knitting. They are attached to the electronics all day......time to do something else for a while. They go to sleep when they are ready, as long as they are getting themselves up for school, or by 9am on no school days. I recently purchased a new router which has parental controls I can use an app on my phone to turn off whatever devices I want to....... if the laptop is distracting from homework or chores it goes off!

Phyllis - posted on 11/26/2013

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Does she have a bedtime? Some have a clear bedtime, some families don't. Either way, ya'll need to talk about it and clarify your expectations. I have kind of a strong opinion about this because I am an educator and I know that lack of sleep will have an effect on her academic performance.

I am interested to read what other parent suggestions are, though.

Ashley - posted on 10/02/2013

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There are parental controls now in most laptops/computers, if yours doesn't have one then I'm pretty sure there's a website for one. If she's reading educational books then I'd let that one slide, lol. Just try to tell her to get to bed at a decent time and that there is plenty of time in the world to be doing those things, sleep is very important to kids their age.
Hope this helped!

Sheri - posted on 10/02/2013

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Put a lock on the computer,and take away the ds and / or removing her bedroom door after letting her know that this will happen if she continues to stay up all night. Is she waking up on time for school?

Stephanie - posted on 10/01/2013

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Stayin ups not too bad at 13 some kids out their do much worse but ofcourse wee all worry and want the best for our children heres what i would do hope this helps.

First of all remove laptop as children should be supervised at all times (my opinion hun not judging you in anyway).
Secondly i wouldnt nag her about it mayby just say a few words of how you feel + how if shes up all night how is she going to concentrate at school.
3rd if its really getting you down and your at your wits end with it simply turn of the plug sockets in her bedroom using your mains box to stop her using electrical things such as cd player , ipod ,ds ect.....
If u cant do this then remove the fuse from the items then she cannot use them.
I suggest not to make this a big deal though hunni as it could mayby lead to her doing something more worse than this , but i strongly suggest you tell her no laptop when you arent watching.
Mobile phones have internet aswell but you can call the service provider and put a parent controll on her mobile this just means no pornographie , no chat rooms no facebook ect....

Wish you luck x

Molly - posted on 09/25/2013

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I have had similar problems with my 14 year old daughter. She had has trouble unwinding at night and getting herself off the computer before bed. I found an excellent solution with minimal fuss which has been working so far. I scanned my online community classifieds and found a lovely second hand chaise lounge, placed it in a nice spot in our lounge room and accessorised it with pretty cushions and a soft blanket. My daughter couldn't resist this cosy new possie. After she was comfortable I told her our new rule, no computers or mobiles in the bedroom anymore and she needs to switch off half an hour before bed to read or just unwind. I think by replacing the negative component with a positive it has made the transition better and she is looking much more perky in the morning, so far, so good. I made sure I removed the power board and talked to her about having a tranquil room without the presence of wires and digital signals.

Alara - posted on 09/19/2013

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I have to agree with Leslie S, pornography and sexting is something I have already had to deal with among my two teen daughters. That's even with me keeping the phones and electronics out of their rooms. Its too accessible and more of an issue then parents want to believe.

Leslie - posted on 09/19/2013

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I don't know if anyone has said this yet, and I hesitate to even mention it, but as someone who struggled with a pornography addiction as a preteen/teenager/young adult, "staying up all night using my laptop" meant not-so-good things. 1) if pornography is a no-no for your family and 2) if you suspect it, I encourage you to talk to your daughter about it: graciously, openly, and offer her help. I was very curious (not a bad thing) and lonely as a pre-teen. The loneliness and curiosity was a bad mix for me and negatively affected my relationship with others. I pray this is not the case with your daughter, but don't think "it could never happen to her" --it's more common than you think. I also don't buy that pornography doesn't hurt you. It damages your perspective on sex, commitment, marriage, etc. Blessings to you, Momma.

Alara - posted on 09/18/2013

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My solution to this was no electronics in the bedrooms and the cut off time was set (an hour before bed) that way they would have some downtime from electronics. Although my 15 Yr old just goes to bed when her phone gets put away because she just can't survive without it (huge problem with this generation) electronics go in my bedroom so they can't get up in the middle of the night. Router is also in my room and I can simply unplug it if I need to. Taking them away is a good option if she is staying up all night. Teens really need a full nights rest to function fully for school, I would reiterate that as well. Good luck!

Laurinda - posted on 09/02/2013

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I have a 15yr old daughter that will b 16 this month and I just let her stay up if she wants being its her summer break bc they can use a break bc school is stressful enough. But I let her know beforehand she is not sleeping all day and she has to b up by noon. Everything always runs smoothly with that understanding.

Deborah Ridgely - posted on 09/02/2013

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I think punishment at this point will be counterproductive. Talk with her about the need to sleep and how it affects the body, especially hormones and health. Look up this info online. Have relaxed heart to heart conversations about whatever she is doing so that you can help her. Motivate her with rewards for getting 8 hours of sleep per night. Praying for you and her!

Xana Elison - posted on 09/02/2013

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My kid does that too. just make sure she is not doing p*rn or anything. if you do worry about that, just disable the internet at night, it will work.

[deleted account]

We had this problem and my electric bill was sky high. I changed all the plugs to 2 pin European style and remove the adaptors when its time to switch off his electronics, that way he can't use anything as he can't plug it in. A friend of mine got a machine that prices how much electric is used in each room and then charged her daughter for the electric she used, to be paid from her allowance. Problem was solved very quickly

Natalie - posted on 08/27/2013

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I have a 12 yr old dr. and she has some messed up sleeping patterns. I don't worry as it is the summer and there is no reason to be up that early, they tend to complain more the earlier they wake up. She has always been capable of waking up early when needed, and understands that if she is miserable because of lack of sleep and takes it out on the family then there will be consequences. I don't know if even taking away these things will help. She may end up just lying in bed all night now being able to sleep. As long as there isn't anything inappropriate going on might want to leave her be.

Francine - posted on 08/23/2013

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All you need to do is take all electronics away from her when she goes to bed, how hard of a decision is that? You are the mother, you are the one in charge in the household. Don't fret over consequences just take it away from her no justification needed, remember you are not her friend you are her mother.

Ella - posted on 08/22/2013

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Just let her if it's summer break! During the school year I think electronic devices off at 10:00 but it is summer where I am living so I let my kids stay up as late as they like because they can sleep in as much as hey want to the next day. I remember when I was a kid I would stay up to as late as 4:00am then sleep in to 2:00pm the next day just for the hell of it and it was something you couldn't do every day.

User - posted on 08/21/2013

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I do allow electronic devices late at night (particularly during the summer), but if my kids didn't wake up in time for school once classes start then I just take the devices away after 10pm. If the laptop is necessary then homework is what they should be using it for.

During the pre-internet years when I was a teen myself I had a pile of books that I'd read to fall asleep. I still do the same thing, except with an iPad or with a Kindle. It takes me a while to wind down whereas my husband just snores away as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Brenda - posted on 08/20/2013

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Teens will find any way to stay up at night as all the friends do. I have had to put the TV cord of my daughters TV in my hall way (extention cord) so when I go to bed, the TV is un plugged. But like Sally said teens have weird sleeping habits. Mine is 15. But on the weekend when they want to sleep in let them. Only time to be concerned is when they become cranky because of no sleep, then take these items need to be taken away until behaviour is corrected, and dont cave. You will pay the price at the end if you bend because they want you too.

Sally - posted on 08/20/2013

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If her using electronics at night bothers you, you never should have let them in her room after bed time. Unfortunately, it's too late for that now.
As long as she's not doing anything inappropriate and is still getting up and getting things done as she should, I wouldn't worry about it. Teens have weird sleep habits and as long as it's not affecting their waking hours, it's not worth the fight. If it is causing problems, they leave her room after bed time. Expect a fight (especially if she doesn't think it's affecting her), but you are the parent.

Chet - posted on 08/19/2013

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I wouldn't take the laptop and the DS away full time. If you don't want her using them at night take them away at night. I like Kelly's policy that devices charge in the living room at night. My thought however, is that if she was also reading and listening to music the problem isn't the technology keeping her up. To be honest, I don't see the problem with staying awake most of the night in and of itself. If she has daytime responsibilities she's failing to meet due to lack of sleep, that's a problem. If she's moody and difficult to live with due to lack of sleep that's a problem. If she's crashing around the house at night and stopping other people from sleeping that's a problem. If she's using the fact that everyone else is asleep to do things she knows she shouldn't be doing that's a problem. If she isn't getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period that's a problem. Teens do experience a shift in their circadian rhymes and hormone levels that often causes them to stay awake very late and sleep in late. If it were me, I would require that my teen get nine to ten hours of sleep in a twenty hour hour period and be able to meet all the responsibilities of living in the household. It isn't unreasonable for her to be up late to a point, but it's not unreasonable for you to say the laptop charges at night in the livingroom, and you have certain chores that need to be completed by 11am or noon.

[deleted account]

Take the laptop away at night. That's not a punishment suggestion, just a way to manage the behavior. It's not a great idea for a 13 year old to have a computer in her room, especially if she's abusing the privilege. I would probably allow books. She can read them if she really can't sleep. As far as punishment/consequences, you can use anything that you think would be effective. Take the laptop/DS away completely for a period of time, stop her from seeing friends for a week, give her some extra chores. Unless she's been doing something else to concern you while staying up all night, I'd say that consequences for this are less important than simply making it clear that staying up all night is not acceptable, and removing any incentive to continue doing it.

Lynn - posted on 08/19/2013

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Sometimes kids have trouble relaxing due to anxiety, tension with school, classwork, friends or something else troubling them. As long as your 13yr old is not doing anything inappropriate on the laptop, then it will be okay every once in a while, but not a regular basis.

Jodi - posted on 08/19/2013

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Ok, she is staying up all night using her laptop, reading, playing on her DS and listening to music and you can't figure out a consequence? To me, the most logical consequence is to remove those things from her possession. This isn't obvious to you?

Nelly - posted on 08/18/2013

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We don't allow the computer anywhere but in common areas at home, any electronic devices such as ds, i pods and cell phones etc must be charging in the living room and are kept there until they go to school bed times at our house mean time for bed. Get her up early in the morning so she can do chores

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