't My dad molested my 6 yr old daughter 11 yrs ago and he died 7 yrs ago... I just found out yesterday

Andrea - posted on 07/24/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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What should I do? I tried to get her to go to councilling but she refused... She's 17 now, and it apparently went on until he died... I'm lost... I don't know what to do....

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Andrea - posted on 07/26/2013

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You know nothing about me or my situation...so don't judge me. You think I don't feel bad enough? I didn't come on this site to get attitude thrown at me... I have 3 teenaged daughters, I get enough of that... Just like Thumper said in Bambi... If you can't say something nice... keep it shut.

Sarah - posted on 07/26/2013

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First off please do not pay any attention to Trisha. This was your dad's fault not yours. I think it sounds like you could benefit from some counselling too. To have found out about such a betrayal of trust from your dad must be devastating and a counsellor may help you come to terms with it. Maybe your daughter might realise that if you are benefitting from therapy she may also. For now I would thank her for having the courage to tell you the truth. Tell her that you believe her and explain a little of how you feel. Then tell her if she ever wants to talk about it then you will be here for her. Best of luck to you both.

Eve - posted on 07/25/2013

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It must've been really tough for your daughter to finally tell you about being molested after carrying the heavy burden of this secret all those years. Don't force her to see a counselor if she's not comfortable with it yet, or she may completely withdraw. Just let her know that you will always be there for her if and when she needs someone to talk to. Or even if she doesn't want to talk, she may just need a shoulder to cry on. It's okay to cry with her even though we as parents try to be strong for our children. This will let her know that you're not minimizing or brushing off the trauma she experienced. She needs to hear that you believe her, that you're sorry she had to go through this, that it was not her fault in any way. Keep a watchful eye for signs of severe depression, which may manifest itself in high-risk, self-destructive behavior. If you think she may hurt herself, then definitely set up an appointment with a therapist. She will not magically heal overnight so just show her how much you love her everyday. My heart goes out to you and your daughter...

Trisha - posted on 07/25/2013

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how could you even allow this to happen? surly there must have been signs! The only thing you can do at this point is be there for her. Let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk and tell her you will do everything in your power to make sure this does not happen again and make sure it does not happen again. I just can't believe that as a parent you would leave your child unsupervised around people that you barely know. I doubt you were close with your dad, if you were im sure you would have realized that there was something off about his behavior, either how he acted with you or with your kids.. Parents need to be more aware of these things and realize that molestation and rape happens with people you know and its least likely to happen with strangers. Be aware of the signs and educate yourself on how to prevent stuff like this from happening, thats all we can do.

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