Teen Dating

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old is "dating" a 14 year old boy who is depressed and talks about killing himself all the time. She doesn't see him often, but they text and facebook all the time. I read all of their messages to each other and he tells her how much he loves her and that she's everything to him and he doesn't know what he would do without her. He also tells her that he wants to be with her until he dies! They never spend any time alone so I know that nothing has happened sexually (thank God!!). I just don't think my daughter needs this kind of drama at her age. I have taken her phone and computer due to bad grades and she will go many days without having any contact with him whatsoever but as soon as she gets a chance, she contacts him and the drams starts all over again. How do I get my daughter to realize that this boy needs help and until he gets the help he needs, she needs to distance herself from him? Any advise you can give will be appreciated!!!

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Madi - posted on 12/18/2013

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As a 13 year old (I know this is a moms website) I know that people can change my feelings.... a lot. So, if this boy is talking about death and stuff she may become interested in that stuff as well.. I would be careful! I think you should get her away for him for her sake and possibly get help for the boy too!

Lynn - posted on 09/10/2013

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I agree with Kristi, your daughter needs to get involved in other things and with other people. She is drawn to his need of her, but she must realize the only thing he needs right now is counseling. He can't love her until he loves himself. Take her to a funeral home for a tour and ask her if that's the next place she wants to see him because it may be if he doesn't get help.

Kristi - posted on 09/10/2013

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Get her involved in other activities that will occupy her time and energy. Sports, activities clubs at school, Boys and Girls Club after school, take a ceramics class together. Keep her busy with positive things for an extended period of time as often as possible. Have her volunteer somewhere. Get her exposed to new people, new experiences and she won't "need" this kid and his drama.

If that fails...and I don't think this would work with older teens, in most cases, I'm sure it wouldn't, but your daughter is still only 13. Don't give her a choice in this case. Point blank, it's not healthy for you. I'm sorry that you don't understand that right now. But, I am exercising my parental right to just say no. I love you and I want what's best for you. ; )

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