Teen Daughter Dating

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

Hi All. Here is s topic that has been on my mind for a long time but now it's finally in my face to deal with. I had always wondered how I would feel on that dreadful day where my 16 year old daughter would ask, "Mom, can I go to Scotty's house?" UGH! Scotty (not a real name) is an average teenaged boy who likes skateboarding, hanging out, and my daughter. Everytime she asks me if she can do something with Scotty I practically cringe but seem to give no as an answer more times than not. I would like to hear some ideas on what other moms find to be acceptable activities as far as teen dating goes. I deffo don't want the daughter hanging out at some guy's house. I don't mind dropping her off at the movies with him as long as other friends will be there and she will only be gone for a total of four hours. I also don't mind them going on walks through the neighborhood holding hands but thats about it. Any other ideas? Am I old fashioned? Lame? Crazy? A terrible mom?

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Courtney - posted on 06/20/2012

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I use to be sixteen, not too long ago. I think that public dates alone are not bad. As in they could go to the movies or out to eat. You could even offer to drive them to make sure they get there safely. I think that the walking through the neighborhood sounds ok but more than likely not very exciting for them because they may not appreciate the simple dates right now. They need fun and excitement, like arcades, dances, movies, going out to eat or even just shopping. A family picnic or dinner would be nice for you to get to know him and his parents to know her. These dates also keep them safe and from being closed in, otherwise they get bored and may experiment or even get annoyed with each other.

I don't think you're old fashioned but there are ways other than limiting time and keeping her close to protect her.

Misty - posted on 06/20/2012

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Hi Jane, I think what you are doing is fine. I would suggest maybe the boy come to your house so you can supervise.

Good luck

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RosaLia - posted on 12/10/2012

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I've delt with this situation almost 5 times! Proud mother of seven lol..What comes first is her education.. let her focus on her grades and what she wants to achieve before a boy enters her life. Believe me, they cause a lot of distractions! My 4 daughters and one of my 3 sons have crossed this bridge before. I am old fashioned but reasonable, dating starts for my household in senior year (18)... co-ed hangouts in a group, before then are completely fine as long as you know the parents. Hope this helped! :D

Anna - posted on 06/25/2012

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Hi jane,

I think what you are doing is fine but you need to step back a little. Give your daughter more freedom. Let her go over to her boyfriends house as long as his parents are there. A big part of dating is just having fun, playing video game, baking cookies. If you keep your daughter away from "scott" she is going to rebel.

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