Teen daughter depressed

Tracy - posted on 07/20/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My teen daughter is depressed. I think it's been going on for a while but my husband and I had hoped we could love and support her through whatever worries she was having. But she is away at camp for the weekend, and we got a call from the camp about her withdrawn behavior, etc. So now we have to admit that we can't help her. I can do that, but I don't know how to choose a therapist. And I am afraid that she will reject help. She doesn't talk to me, so it's hard to..... proceed.

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Stacy - posted on 07/20/2014

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Find a counselor who deals with teens or families. Being withdrawn doesn't always mean she is depressed. There could be other reasons for it. You are still her parent. She doesn't get to choose whether or not she gets to go. Take charge and do whatever is necessary. And don't fall for the traps when she says she will get better or that it is just a phase just so she won't have to go to a counselor. Find a woman counselor so she will be more comfortable in talking to her. Call the counselor ahead of time and ask to speak with them privately as a consultation. Then interview the counselor - How do they deal with teen depression, what is their goals in getting her better, would you need to seek a doctor for medication and diagnosis while getting counseled, is there a support group for parents whose kids are struggling with depression and so forth. This is nothing to be shameful or embarrassing because your teen needs help. You are doing the pro-active thing that will bring healing to her so she can lead a successful future. She may not like you for doing this, but in the end, she will respect you and thank you.

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Stacy - posted on 07/21/2014

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That's the first step in being pro-active. Admit that you can't control it. You need help. It is those who have pride end up with more severe issues. Don't blame yourself. You and your husband are moving in the right direction and your daughter will appreciate that one day. Pray for her. Encourage her. Praise her for anything that is positive in her life. There is a root to all of this and it will come out within counseling. Just be supportive even if it means that you need to change your ways of doing things to help her. But act quickly. And don't be discouraged when not finding the right counselor. They are out there. Google counselors in your area and check out the reviews. Call your local church and find out who they send their members to when they have a crisis. You need to be an investigator for a little bit. And if you daughter has good reasons for not liking the counselor, find another one that she will like. When you have a teen that responds well to the counselor, their healing time is much quicker. Give at least a month trial with the counselor. Hang in there!

Tracy - posted on 07/20/2014

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Thank you. I will jot down your questions and interview 2 or 3. This is not the first symptom. But I am finally admitting that I cannot control it.

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