Teen daughter wants to date older boy. She is Christian. He is Muslim!

Shelley - posted on 11/13/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )




I would like advice on whether or not you would let your 16 year old daughter date a 19 year old boy (in his first year of college). ALSO! We (she) is a Christian and he is Muslim. My husband can't get past the age difference (me either), but I don't like that there is such a difference in spirituality. They met last school year while he was a senior and she was a freshman. Thought (Prayed! Hoped!) it was a passing fancy, but they are still trying to see each other. He visited his family in Jordan this past summer, and he brought home, and gave her a ring! What the heck? We've discussed being unequally yoked (1 Corintians 6 :14), and what this means. She left me a letter this morning explaining that she wants to do things with him. I've told her they can be together in a group. She even asked if he can be the one to drive (the group), which we've already told her is not a good idea. Told her we don't know him, and don't like the idea of them possibly being alone in the car. Help!!


[deleted account]

I can see how the age difference can be disturbing. However, there has to be some trust shown, that you've trained up your child in the way she should go. Talk to her about what actions are considered okay (rather than focus on negative). The group idea is good. Set some boundaries such as texting where she is, expected time home. If she follows through, maybe lengthen the leash a little. And set a plan to help her out if things are not okay. One dad used a simple "x" in a text message as a way for his kids to let him know something was wrong.
Get to know him and his beliefs. Is he a practicing Muslim or just from a muslim family? Has he been invited to church? Has/will he go with the your family? This could be a wonderful witnessing opportunity.
As for the ring, what did it symbolize? Are they engaged or just good friends and he thought she would like it. His intentions may have been innocent.
Try to work through these cautiously, let her know you want the best for her life and are being protective of her. Parenting is hard, but you sound like you are really trying. Good luck.

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