Teenage

Linda - posted on 06/09/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I feel like I'm not a good mother. I trust my daughter very much. I allowed her to get a belly button ring at almost 15 and my sister in law said I allowed it too soon and was wrong. I feel like there are things I feel like it's o.k but maybe I should be saying no. I trust her but why do I feel like I'm not doing a good thing to allow her to do certain things. I feel like as a parent there are some that probably look at me as a bad parent maybe for the things I allow her to do. Am I the only one that feels like this?

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Raye - posted on 06/10/2015

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Allowing your daughter a belly ring is not being a bad mother. But at 15, your daughter is not yet an adult. She should be proving herself and gaining more privileges, but there are certain things that are still not age appropriate until she is 18.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/12/2015

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I do have to say that it's nice to read a nice, respectful debate! :-)
& PS: Linda...No, you're not the only parent that wonders if you have made correct decisions at times. I think we ALL do that!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/12/2015

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You're raising her, do it your way.
I personally do not agree with body piercing before the child is an adult. When they are adult, they can make that decision to alter their bodies. When they're children, in my opinion, the only OK piercing is ears, ONLY if the child is old enough to ask and be responsible about the hygiene involved.
I know plenty of people who had things pierced as teens that they regret now (or ear gauging...etc)
Excessive piercings do tend to cause problems in certain job arenas...the person may be entirely qualified, and the best person for the job, but the excessive piercings can turn potential employers off. This goes for tattoos as well.
I don't disagree with piercing, or tattoos. I don't understand excessive body alterations such as gauging, horns, over excessive piercings such as lips, eyebrows, etc. A small nose stud can look classy, but I still don't recommend it prior to them turning 18. This also avoids things like school dress codes where facial piercings, including nose rings may not be allowed.

Pam - posted on 06/11/2015

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I respect your opinion Raye, but I have a nose ring and it has not limited me and it looks beautiful on her. I have had other piercings and removed them and have no scars that are noticable. I have a difference of opinion, I have no regrets on allowing her to get the 2 piercings she has. I will not allow lip or eyebrow rings until they are 18 and both my daughters have been told this. Neither of my daughters wear any earings so that is not an issue. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Raye - posted on 06/11/2015

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Pam, most piercings leave scars or holes, so they are permanent. I would not allow any piercings other than standard ear lobe before 16 y/o (no gauges, tragus, rim, etc.) and then maybe just belly ring as that can be covered. Any visible piercings on the face (such as nose, eyebrow, lip), or abnormal ear piercings, etc. may limit their job prospects, and so should not be done until after they are an adult and can make their own decisions.

Pam - posted on 06/11/2015

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I allowed my daughter to get a belly ring at 16 and her nose pierced at 14. I think as a parent you say no a lot, so you need to allow them some freedoms. As my mother in law says if it can be removed and it isn't permenant it can be considered. I do have boundries but I do consider things like this before saying an outright no. You are not a bad parent. You are raising her not your sister in law, it is ok to get advice and opinions but at the end of the day it is your decision. Also, I think if my kid isn't smoking weed, getting drunk, and having sex and all she is asking for is a belly piercing is it really that bad? just my thought. My daughters are good girls. My youngest is only 11 so no piercing for her yet. I am sure she will be asking when she hits 14.

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