Teenage stepson walked in on my 16 yr old daughter in the bathroom

Laura - posted on 05/04/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Last night, my 13 year old stepson walked into the bathroom (door was closed all the way but not locked) when my 16 year old daughter was on the toilet, changing her tampon. She feels completely violated (and I do too). He apologized and knows better than to just walk into the bathroom when the door is closed, but he didn't use his brain. How do I make the peace between them again? My two stepsons are with us every other week for a full week at a time. Now, my daughter wants to go live with her father during the time that my stepsons are with us. I don't want her to do that because I know she would be miserable there, and I would miss her horribly. I just don't know what to do about this. HELP!!!

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Jodi - posted on 05/04/2013

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While it is inappropriate at that age that they just open doors without knocking, it happens. Put a lock on the inside of the bathroom door. Let her know that is what you are doing so that she will have privacy in the future. Problem solved.

[deleted account]

Well first of all...this just happened LAST NIGHT. Time usually fixes most everything.

I have a 17 yr old Daughter...as well as 4 step-sons ranging in age from 18-25. This happened to us when my Daughter walked in on one of her Step-Brothers several years ago. He was angry, she was apologetic.. It is of course embarrassing, irritating, etc.... However, BOTH kids are at fault.

The one that opened a closed door without first knocking, as well as the one that shut the door for privacy but did not lock the door. When it happened in our family we told both kids. Not to complain as they were BOTH wrong.

Berating only the one that walked in w/out knocking & stating he "doesn't have a brain" only makes an awkward situation worse!

Furthermore, if your daughter threatens to leave when her stepbrother visits... you should remind her "what do biological siblings do when this happens? Live with it, that's what because they do not the option of moving to another household when things do not go their way!"

That being said, "this too shall pass...." Both sides need to stop dwelling on the incident, learn from it & move on! Good luck :0)

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