Teenager rebels

Sue - posted on 08/08/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Please help me to make the right decision. Today feels like the worse day of my life. Two days ago my 16 year old daughter left home. She was my life I feel completely empty. All I've done is cry for two days.It started when she asked for a 20 year old boyfriend to come over on the weeknight,This boy I have only met once and she has only seen him a couple of times, those times were just out the front of our house.I suggested the weekend would be a lot better, she wasn't happy with that. packed her bag and flew out the door and got into the car with him. Since then she has return with police and taken almost all of the rest of her belongings.She was very cold towards me which cut very deep. I am scared to text or ring in case of rejection. I love her with all my heart she is my life.

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Julie - posted on 08/09/2013

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I can't imagine what you're going through I have 2 girls aged 21 and 17. However the one thing I have learnt over the years is the louder I shout and the more fuss I make, the further away they run.
No matter what you do you are not going to win. This boy obviously has swept her off her feet, it's fun and exciting and much better than being with reliable old mum!
So the only thing you can do is to be honest with her. Don't give her any ultimatums as you won't win but tell her that you love her and are there for her. Keep the communication lines open so she knows she can talk to you. Try not to shout or cry but be calm. It's ok to tell her you don't agree with what she is doing and you want her to come home. Make sure she knows she can come home and the door is open.
The next few days/week is going to be hard but she needs to know you are still there for her.
The honeymoon period will not last long and hopefully she will realise what she is missing. Keep talking to her, try to stay calm and not judge her.
You don't want to lose her and make it impossible for her to come back - I've always told mine that I'll always love them but I don't like what they're doing right now.
I really hope she makes the right decision and comes home
You are right to set your standards and expectations and if she can't respect them then she needs to find out how hard it can be in the outside world - stay strong xxx

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