The rules for at home college teens

Nikki - posted on 09/05/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Is it okay to let my daughters boyfriend visit and hang out in her bedroom? She'll be 18 in Nov. and I have a small place and am in the next room. I opened the door and they were Laying down on her bed watching movies. Ok or no? I want to provide the right amount of boundaries while not being overbearing or restrictive to the point of chasing her elsewhere to get in trouble. We had a talk and she is very clear on not having sex in my house. What are the rules on curfews and guests when your college teen lives at home? Also when no one is home...?

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Eager - posted on 09/08/2016

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Hi, Nikki. You definitely sound like a very caring mother, and you’re concern for your daughter is valid. You’re not alone, and I think I agree with Clair that setting appropriate rules like making sure they’re in the family room and not in her room all alone is a good idea. Also, there are some great suggestions in this book, Boundaries with Teens, by Mr. John Townsend – I believe that you will find it useful, as well. It might be available through any of the online stores. I’ll certainly be praying for you and your daughter, Nikki. May God bless you!

Nellynunes148 - posted on 09/08/2016

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We have 4children ages 16-10 years old. We don't allow our children to bring friends in their bedrooms. They can hang out in common areas, such as living room

Clair - posted on 09/08/2016

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In the end, you have to set the tone mama bear. Rules like making sure they are in the family room, not alone in a room all alone. LIMITED PDA (lol) especially around you. etc and make sure your daughter is strong enough to stand up for herself and her boundaries. That she doesnt go gagagoogoo over this guy and just listens to whatever he says

Clair - posted on 09/08/2016

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I think it depends on the boy, is he the sort to listen or just do whatever he wants? You will know best on how too judge the situation. Some of my friends had 'sleep overs' with their bfs at that age and well, the guys some how convince them to sleep with them. Then when they break up the girl is a mess not to mention has to get medical testing (pap smears, sti, std, pregnancy etc). Is that something you want for your daughter? At 18, she is a young adult. High light the word YOUNG just beginning to make her own decisions and explore life. Is she mature and ready to take on the responsibilities a pregnancy may bring? Is she focused on her own life so she wont be an emotional wreck in case she and the bf break up? She may legally be an adult but emotionally she is still very young and may not be ready for the consequences of her actions.

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Claire - posted on 09/05/2016

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Hi Nikki

She is 18, you are clearly a loving and caring mom, but, sometimes you have to trust her. Is the guy respectful to you and her? Claire

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