Very disabled dad now

Mary - posted on 05/11/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Our teen was 14 when her dad became a quadriplegic and unable to speak. He is cared for in a local community for disabled due to his physical needs. They are able to communicate through computer and visits. I worry about how this affects her but she won't see anyone professionally for support or counselling. I worry she will develop anger/ depression etc. She seems to resent that I visit him for a few hours every day even though she and I am together the rest of the time- when she isn't out with her friends! Does anyone else have a similar situation. Feel guilt ridden but am not able to provide the emotional support for her as I struggle too! I feel sometimes she is over indulged with material objects to make up for the situation and she can be quite demanding.

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Heather - posted on 05/20/2013

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Sometimes kids need to hear the harsh reality. You need to let her know this isn't fun for you and you will not tolerate her attitude anymore. Start taking away material things if necessary. Don't let her guilt you into not visiting your husband and give her some time to visit him alone too.

My gut feeling is that the family dynamic has changed and she's wondering where her boundaries are now. Set them where you are comfortable, not where she wants them.

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