walking in on my 15 year old boy

Alexandra - posted on 11/27/2012 ( 27 moms have responded )

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yesterday i came home from work early. I made my way upstairs and was confronted with my 15 year old son, sitting naked on his bed, he was holding a pair of my panties in one hand and he was masturbating with the other, he saw me and quickly tried to cover it up but he knew I had seen, I ran to my room. neither of us spoke after this, and i left for work early this morning. i found this extremely startling and shocking that he was using my underwear to 'get off' (I have known that he does masturbate as i often find stains in his bed sheets) I don't know how or what to say to him? i do really love him and i don't want to make things strange between us from now, have you ever been in this situation?

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Roxanne - posted on 12/04/2012

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My son is 17 and has a foot fetish! A few yrs ago, he used to get an erection when he would see my bare feet. Oh how this disturbs a mother!!! We went to counseling, and I was told that because I am the only female around at that time, with bare feet...his body is simply responding to that. If there were another woman in the room with bare feet, he would probably have been looking at her feet and not mine.

I know this may not help...but, if i were you..I'd put a lock on your bedroom door: I started wearing socks!

Atina - posted on 01/06/2013

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Hi, and yes ask for them back or ask him to please throw them away (providing him a trash bag). Get him a different pair say, from Walmart or somewhere, and definately not your style or size. Explain it is normal but would rather him have his own for that. Smile, nod and walk away. Good Luck.

Denise - posted on 11/27/2012

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I doubt he is using "your" underwear to get off, I understand that they are yours, but when he has them I doubt he is thinking of you, more less just the idea of girls underwear, he might have been imagining them as a girls he has a crush on. If you think this is bad for you think about him, his mom just walked in on him... well you know. He knows you got the full view and he is terrified of what you are thinking. The best thing you can do for both of your sakes is to let it go and not worry to much about it, trust me he won't be using your underwear again after that though.

AIDA - posted on 03/15/2013

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you can't put something like that aside if it's wrong it's wrong goodness that is just shocking to hear; Someone is not talking any sense to this child come on people he's 15 not 8 or 9 running around filled with curiosity :/ why are parents so scared to discipline their kids these days?? I don't know what to tell you but one thing I do know is It's not o.k it's rather perverted! We are suppose to respect our parents.

Denise - posted on 11/27/2012

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That one is up to you, I would feel wrong about letting him have them, but at the same time it's just going to make him more emotionally scarred. If you don't want him to have them I would go get them out of his room look in places like under the bed, in between the mattresses, under the dresser, and other places like that.

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France - posted on 03/17/2013

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Do NOT ASSUME bcuz he's holding ur panties, he's thinking of you. He, like most teen boys are fantasizing of someone they cannot have( ie model, actress, or someone very popular at school, or even a teacher) I'm guessing he doesn't have a variety of women's panties to choose from. That is why he's holding- the ones most easily accessed ! 💆☝Don't worry about a rain cloud, when your holding an umbrella.🙆

Jeanie - posted on 03/16/2013

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Kristina smith what are you saying? Your comment dosent sound right. It sounds sick.

Jeanie - posted on 03/16/2013

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It is natural to masturbate girl or boy. I'm not sure why he would use your panties though. Doctors will also tell you it's natural and not to make them feel ashamed. Maybe just talk about why he used your panties. He should not be punished for masturbating as someone said on here.

Ivanna - posted on 03/10/2013

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I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Just act like nothing has happened and go on like normal. You are the one woman in his life. I would help him find other panties that aren't yours so he can live out his fantasies. Good luck:)

Sheri - posted on 01/01/2013

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OK moms, let's first ask the easy solution...where is dad or male figure? If there is a male around to help him feel more comfortable about this then let him talk to your son about making sure to lock doors and maybe even sneak him a Victoria's Secret Catalog (at least it's PG) and even a new pair of undies that don't belong to anyone. If there is no male around you have to fill in the gap and put on your dual parenting hat. Tell him its normal, its natural, its private, and lets keep it that way. Lock doors and please do not use your things. Tell him you love him even if he is growing up and then its over. Age has nothing to do with it....just be glad it wasn't a cheerleader with him. At least the panties can't get pregnant.

Ana - posted on 12/23/2012

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And who cares if he is ahamed...he should be..he's got 3 years till 18 and he doesn't know not to use mommies panties to get off???? I wonder if his high school friends knew anything about this.. he would be SOOO ashamed, he'd probably never go back to school...shut him down and get it overwith...I'd really expect to hear something like this happening to someone younger..it's almost scarry to hear of something like this from someone in highschool..

Ana - posted on 12/23/2012

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Wow, I would not let my son keep my underwear to use for his personal excitement. IT"S WEIRD. I'm not sorry.

I would let him know, "I saw what you had of mine that day and I want you to throw it away. I am your mother not your girlfriend. You don't take a sexual intrest in things that involve your family. Got it. And more than you lives in this house, keep your man parts put away unless you are behind a locked door.

To me, if we as parents don't address things like this, perversion just begins to run wild. This is how we hear of thoes stories of teenage boys trying to experiment with little girls and so on, I mean if he can do this with mom's things, everyone else is less than mom.... It can get even more WEIRD! Don't be afraid to say something to him, it's your house, obviously he needs direction.

Janice - posted on 12/13/2012

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Heels is much more easy to handle IMO than some of the others :) Contact me if I can help :)

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2012

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I can relate to this as some of my close fiends on circle of moms will know- see one of my threads. I am a single mom 36 years old.

My 18 year old son regularly masturbates with my high heeled shoes. I discovered this a few months back when I walked in on him smelling and licking one of my high heels whilst masturbating with the other one. As you can read on my thread, I am close to my wits end- I haven't confronted him about it as I'm too scared and embarrassed.

He is also moe affectionate when I'm in heels which is disturbing.

Diana - posted on 12/09/2012

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I have a problem with children (I have teenage daughter) going in my room taking anything. I don't take anything out of her room without permission and I expect the same. If it was me, I would not make a deal out of the masturbation but I would tell him don't be taking nothing out of my room without my permission. I think honest and clear communication is the best policy. It also helps them to deal with women when they get older. I feel that this send the message that you are not overly concerned about the masturbation but he nned to find something else to do it with, and like the others said...I would tell him when he is doing private things, make sure his room is private...and we would go on with life!

Ann - posted on 12/05/2012

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I wanted to thank you. My sons are getting there now. At least this gives me a heads up to what may come.

Michelle - posted on 12/04/2012

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Oh why don't you want him to have them? I would just act like I never knew he had them and dismiss the fact that they were yours. Its not weird for boys to find women's undies attractive, and he will probably just find more if you take them. If you really hate the idea of him having them find them when he is at school and get rid of them. If you think he will take more of yours then you better have a talk with him and ask him not to take your things.

Michelle - posted on 12/04/2012

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I would apologize for walking in on him, tell him to lock the door when he doesn't have clothes on and I would start knocking first. I wouldn't even mention the underwear or what you saw.

Carrie - posted on 11/29/2012

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I agree w/ Denise, I doubt it had anything to do w/ you. Males are visual creatures. I have to say this is one good reason why I'm glad I don't have one to raise. I love my girls... I do have a new 14 yr old step son in my life now, and I hope he takes time off from those activities "every other weeekend" when he is over at our house. =) As for Frances, this is a mom's website, not sure if you are male or female, but regardless, your post grossed me out.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/28/2012

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I'm with the other moms, Alexandra. Don't sweat it. I've got 2 young men myself, and honestly...they're unstoppable when it comes to that. One needs no outside encouragement, the other will watch Selena Gomez, or any one of the little teeny boppers on TV...LOL...Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting a teenage boy!



Start reminding him to shut his door, and develop your "ahem" cough to let him know you're in the vicinity...and eventually, he'll be able to look you in the eye again.

Kristi - posted on 11/28/2012

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He's probably gotten rid of the "evidence" by himself already. ; )

Janice - posted on 11/28/2012

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If you dont need them let him keep them :) its a material thing, and absolutely keeps that stuff off the rug! (I have 3 sons.........) The fact that they are yours is really not an issue, you could have put any underwear in the basket that belonged to any girl, and he woulda grabbed them atleast he is normal! And yes the fake cough breaks them out of the trance for sure lol Good lookin out Laura lol

Alexandra - posted on 11/27/2012

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okay, thank you for your help :) but what should i do about the panties? should i ask for them back? its not like i'm going to wear them again but i dont want them in his possession.

Laura - posted on 11/27/2012

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I'm not sure if this would be correct, but I would try my best to act like it never happened. Try to talk to him the way you always have. Before I even read the other comment, I thought to myself that he was using the panties as a prop for a cute girl at school, not you. You don't want him dwelling on this incident and you shouldn't either. And, from now on, I bet he will shut his door..but still, don't ever open his bedroom door without knocking, and fake cough, or something, whenever you come home early. I'm sure it all feels strange to you right now, but in the big scheme of parenting, I don't really think this is a biggie. :)

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