What do you do with a child/teenager that doesn't care?

Autumn - posted on 09/30/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 15 year old son that only does what he wants, if he is required to do anything beforehand he will wait until the very last second and then only does what the bare minimum for something to said it got done. He doesnt take pride in doing a good job and rarely finishes a project that he wants to do (he leaves the messes) He says he cares about his grades but continues to bring home D and F's on report cards. It seems like we have to get really pissed off before he will do anything. He doesn't use the computer often, he doesn't watch a lot of T.V.

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User - posted on 07/24/2013

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I have a 14 year old daughter who doesn't seem to care. She thinks it is fine to disrespect me. Even some of her friends notice it and gets on to her for it. She drives me to tears and helplessness. I had to call the cops before and they charged her with unruly. If I am not feeling well or in pain, she doesn't blink an eye. All this started when she turned 13. She treats some of her friends better than me. She has common sense and will get upset with me if I do what she does to others; for instance, she will be like, 'Mom, help so n so' or mother me in social behavior. She drives me to tears and it adds to my feelings of incompetence as a human being, not just a mother. She acts entitled and never shows concern for me.

JuLeah - posted on 10/02/2011

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Kids have to be taught empathy. We are not born with that skill.



He tells you what you want to hear - his action are what you should be listening to - ignore the words when words and actions don't match



I don't know your kid, but I know a lot of teens. They have spent their lives with adults doing for them things they should have been doing for themselves - we put on their jackets, tie their shoes long after they are old enough to do for themsleves - then at 15 or so, we just expect them to take over - but they are in the habbit of sitting back and waiting for others to do for them



'Teen" was invented in this country in the 1950's remember. Prior to that, teens had a place, they served a fuction, they had value. They worked. Their contributions were needed by society



Now, what do they do? How do they serve?How do they make the world a better place?



How can a person be happy if they have no real value?



I am not fond of what we do to teens in the culture ...

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Lisa - posted on 10/02/2011

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I have a 14 year old that has learning disbilities, but has that "only does things at the last minute" refuses to clean his room, or even after himself. But, is pulling straight A's , he likes his classes, and I have contact with his teachers every week, I know his grades and progress every friday, its a computer generated program thru the school. Also, I make it known to him that grades will follow him up until he graduates. During reoprt card time, he gets incentives for his grades, Grandma gives him cash per A, and if there is something that he really wants(such as a collectible Nascar diecast car, book, or movie) he gets those things when his grades are good. If grades drop he gets things taken away, we don't get mad or pissed off that just can make things worse, try to have an incentive for him to work towards. Encourage him to use the computer, have contact with all of his teachers so you know what projects -assignments are due, that way you can helphim, and explain that high school is not a place to goof off. That grades count. Make a goals list with him , such as what he wants to do after high school, and explain that if he has good grades employeers will not want to hire a person that doesn't graduate from hs, also explain to him that colleges will look at his hs grades, and if he starts to apply himself more and bring his grades up, maybe a chance that his schooling might be paid for. Also, find out if its a personal thing, is it his peers? any drugs involved? Another thing we do is that my kids have to have there homework done b4 doing anything! Have a certain time for him to do his homework, my 14 year old has a planner that he writes in everyday and has to show that to me. I hope this helps, but defintely start and talk with him, make goals, find out if the classes he has are to hard, and keep in contact with his teachers. It will make a world of difference if both of you are on the same page!

SHERRY - posted on 10/01/2011

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U should have him tested in school to make sure he is in the right class for him u also need to talk to him ask him if their something wrong are anything u can help him with u should post a list of what u want him to do & the consequences if there not done in a timely manner try not to holler @ him cause ur give him all the power & will u that against you in the future it hard to stick to it but it can be done. I have 3 two boys 17-16 my girl will be 13 this month even with them being older I still try to take them out on a date just me & them one @ a time that way we can talk with out the others putting in their 2 cent see if this helps good luck .

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