What should I do?

Andrea - posted on 08/21/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter and her best friend of 4 years dated for a year. Things were great in the beginning. She loved him so much and would do anything for him. He said they were soul mates and planning where to go to college together. He was such a smooth talker, even I believed everything he said. After a year he ended it. She was devastated. She thought he was the one. I recently found out that while they were dating he pressured her to give oral on many occasions . She would say no and cry, but he would continue to push her head down. I am devastated! I have know this boy for 5 years and treated him like my own. Is this just a boy with raging hormones or did he assault her? Momma Bear is furious with this boy! They haven't spoken recently but I nervous for they are in school together.

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Elaine - posted on 08/22/2016

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I am so so sorry. This is your precious daughter and it is so understandable that your pain and hurt runs deep. You did not share your daughter's age, but it sounds like she is a teenager in high school. It is a tough age. Kids date and often make promises and commitments that they are not capable of keeping. It is said "in the moment" but they are not equipped to commit or be consistent. While you wish with all your heart that it could be different, you can't change what has happened. Your daughter needs to heal and she needs your love and your support. Let her grieve and give it time. If she is suffering from the physical intimacy that took place, it might be wise to have her see a counselor. Since she did not share this when it was going on, she may have had conflicting feelings. She may now be sharing it from a deep place of hurt, even anger. This is why a counselor may be able to help her heal. You can provide the love and give her the comfort she needs while a counselor may help her to heal and empower her to avoid having this happen again. If you belong to a church, you may want to reach out to them as well for emotional support. You might want to speak to a trusted family member or friend about you as you are trying to be strong for your daughter but dealing with difficult emotions. You will both be in my thoughts. Stay strong.

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