What to do when child hates you ?

Tracey - posted on 12/15/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

24

0

10

My 17 yr old daughter really hates me. I am a very devoted, loving Mother. All of her friends and the neighbors love me. For the last week she has not spoke to me. If I say anything she screams at the top of her voice how much she hates me. I shut off her cell phone, locked up her car, to no avail. She is still stomping around the house scowling. I am wondering should I set her up in an apt by herself ? Or something ? I don't know what to do, she has broken my heart. I want to run away ! She is a monster to live with. It is just the 2 of us. BTW she makes straight A's, and has no issues anywhere else but with how much she hates me. I really think she does. Shes says she has hated me since she was 8.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/19/2013

13,264

21

2015

Give her some of her own medicine, my dear!

When she's screaming "I hate you", smile sweetly, say, "honey, I don't like you all that much right now either, but I'll always love you" and walk away. Don't say any more.

When that gets her goat (and it will), she'll come to you and ask you why you said that. That's your opening to figure out what in the hell is going on in her head.

My kids used to do this to, purely out of frustration from things going on in their lives. They never lasted long, as I didn't tolerate them screaming at me. They would be told "Moderate your tone. You may hate me now, and that's fine. Just know that I don't like YOU very much at this point either. When you're ready to talk, let me know" At which point they'd usually rant and rave for a bit more before coming to me, apologizing for their inappropriate behaviour, and letting me know what was up. It only escalated to my eldest leaving the house once, and he was back within a day.

This too, shall pass, but you don't have to tolerate the behaviour. She knows she's acting inappropriately, and probably thinks if she keeps it up, you'll break. DON'T! Stand strong!

4 Comments

View replies by

Shannon - posted on 12/23/2013

18

0

10

Ask her, "How long are you going to hate me for?" in a matter of fact answer. Listen for the answer. She'll probably start laughing.

Tracey - posted on 12/20/2013

24

0

10

Thanks Shawnn. It's really reassuring knowing someone else has gone thru this. I was PMS ing bad when I wrote in, things always seem so much worse during that time of the month. She is still being silent I am ticked now. I just cleared her room of her electronics and her computer, and, as soon as she gets home I;m taking her car. I have had it, this is unacceptable behavior. It is on, like Donkey Kong now ! Have a Merry Christmas ! Tracey

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms