What to do when your daughter's boyfriend is using her and she won't listen to reason?

Elke - posted on 04/17/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 17 yr-old daughter is back with an old (abusive) boyfriend, and no matter how much advice I've given her, and she pretends like she hears and agrees with me, she still continues to be intimate with him -- not seeing his lack of affection for her and his manipulation. I'm just angered she's letting him do this to her again. I know I have to walk away and let her learn her lesson on her own. It took over a year for her to get over him, lots of depression, and I really can't handle going through that all over again with her. I thought she was stronger than that.

I said some pretty harsh things to her last night, and I know she's hurt by what I said. I think I've been too soft and understanding, and she needed to hear it straight and ugly. She's extremely angry with me right now.

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Raye - posted on 04/17/2015

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Sometimes kids need to hear the ugly truth and get a healthy dose of reality, but she also does have to learn her own lesson. She's not going to "listen to reason" if she's that hung up on this guy. So she will have to hit bottom before she understands. You hate to see your baby hurting, and it's tough no matter what you do. Keep trying to talk to her, even if she hates you for it, because she will look back as an adult and see you did try to help and didn't just sit by and let it happen.

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