What to do with a child who gets kicked off the bus?

Rena I - posted on 04/05/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello I am new here. I am and tribally enrolled Native American. I live in the NW and am here to gain understanding and knowledge.
My 15 yr old son, travels 15 miles on way to school everyday. For the second time this year he got kicked of the bus for the week. It's difficult to get him to and from school with limited gas funds. We managed today to get him to school.
I tried to explain to the principle how difficult it is to come by gas everyday. Our tribe also pays for there school. We give them a grant every year for our children, and most of the kids after the funds go through, our native kids find them selves either suspended, or expelled by christmas. So here i am trying to get my kid to finish school he is in the tenth grade, and he is VERY big for his age, so he gets misunderstood all the time. He rough houses with his classmates, and because of his size he has advantage over them, and to others it looks like he is being mean, but he forgets he is bigger than most. He is about 5'10 and weighs over 200 lbs. He's a big boy.
I am at a standstill, I can't make him walk 15 miles to school, so I have to drive him to school everyday. Which to our kids is a benefit not a consequence. Cuz we have overcrowded bus and a normal 26 row bus has 3 to a seat which normally only is supposed to have 2 to a seat. So he feels like he is getting rewarded for his punishment, not punished. I have given him some extra chores to do, but my work day doesn't end until 6, and I have little to no support at home. So he gets to sit around from 4-6 each day before I get home and enforce the punishment. It's seems to me like this is a no win situation for me. And I work on Saturdays so I don't get to put him to work on the weekends like I want to when I punish him. I have tooken all phone priveleges away, and his xbox games also.
I need my job so I can support my family, but sometimes I wish I could just be at home and spend that extra time with them. but I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too huh? I hope I can get some good input here. I have no clue what to do?
I have thought of sending him to an all indian boarding school, but he doesn't want to leave the nest. But in my opinion, I think this would be beneficial for him, because it would teach him to be self sufficient in so many ways. such as he would get an allowance every month, and also he would be taught self care, cleaning own room, and laundry, and i imagine they have kitchen duties and other things.
I have thought about a at risk treatment center. i have thought of home schooling. I have considered private school.
But in my mind i think if I work with him a little bit more, I can get him to turn around. Any suggestions would help or confirmations of what I am thinking would be helpful. Thanks.

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Holly - posted on 04/05/2013

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ok, quit treating him like a baby.... expect the extra chores to be done BEFORE you get home. send him a text around 4 telling him that he needs to get off his butt and get them done. take all the cords off the TV & gaming stations, and keep them in your purse. take his hand held devices in your purse as well, take his phone away from him and put it in your purse too.... if you don't have a purse big enough invest in one. tell him each day that the chores are not finished, is an extra week of punishment. there will be no TV or games until the punishment is fulfilled.... it is not the schools job to make sure that your children are well behaved, that is the job of the parents. do not give him any reason to be able to sit around.... if he STILL sits around not doing his extra chores take the cushions off the couch and put them in your car. give him NOTHING to sit on, only bring one cushion into the couch after work, one for you to sit on, until his chores are done.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/05/2013

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No nonsense.

Gets results.

You'd be amazed (and pleasantly surprised)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/05/2013

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2015

Ok, I have to admit, my opinion has not changed!

My son is going to be 16 in September, is 225 lbs, and 6'5" tall, and he has never been kicked off the bus for being "misunderstood" and "looking like he's picking on someone"

Your son has figured out that you give him rides when he gets kicked off the bus. You say that it's "too dangerous" for him to walk 15 miles. What's so bloody dangerous for a 200 lb, almost 6 foot tall male? (other than the danger of him skipping school entirely, that is). One day of that 15 mile walk, and he'll straighten up and fly right.

As it is, you've said that you can't get him to complete the chores without supervision because your day is long...

Why are you considering options that are beyond what you can afford (private school, exclusive Native American boarding school)? If you're not going to make him walk, and you want him to work off the gas money by doing extra chores, then you need to remove any and all incentive for him to do anything BUT the chores and homework. That means pack up all of your technology right now, and store it away from your home until he can get it through his skull that you mean business.

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