What to say and not to say to a teenager about her sexual life?

Jennifer Perez - posted on 11/25/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have an eleven years old girl whose starting to grow into a teenager, and I would like to know what is it appropriate to tell her about sexual issues, knowing that there is so much bad information out there.


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[deleted account]

I think that having open conversations is a good thing.

I NEVER wanted to talk to my mom about such things, but then she never made talking about your body a natural part of life.

Having THE TALK was a part of her generation.

She also left educational books around, which provided me information but not a lot of realationship-building discussion.

We've been talking with our kids about their bodies since well, forever- age appropriate, of course. If your daughter's 11 and in public school you can bet somebody's talking to her about it. Kids get a lot of misinformation that way, and they pick up values that don't necessarily reflect your own values.

How much to talk about? If she's comfortable talking with you, she'll tell you what she wants and needs to know and then you as her mom, who know her best, can decide what else she may need to know as well.

How to begin? You might begin a family discussion about clothing and girls and the motivations for what people choose to wear. Most parents are waging the war on 'sexy' tween clothes anyway, it might be a good segue into conversation about respecting our bodies, etc.

There's a good book called


Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World

by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn

ISBN: 1-57856-856-0


Guys Aren’t the Only Ones Fighting a Battle for Purity.

The world you live in promotes sex as the answer to just about everything. The pressure to go along with the crowd is greater than ever before, and it’s easy to compromise in little ways that are a lot more harmful than they seem. You and your friends may become caught up in destructive relationships or sexual activities without even knowing how you got there. You just want to be normal–to fit in, to be liked, to look attractive to the opposite sex. But are you paying too high a price?

learn how the sexual battle begins in your heart and mind

· understand your hunger for attention from guys

· recognize and avoid the potential pitfalls awaiting young women on the journey toward adulthood and possibly marriage

· find out how the media, novels, fashion, internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence your sexual choices–and what you can do about it

· guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise

· develop a deeper, more satisfying level of intimacy with God

Whether you have so far protected yourself emotionally and sexually, feel that you’ve been robbed of your purity, or have given in to temptation in some way, this book can help you achieve or reclaim sexual integrity. It can also guide you through the temptations and pressures of young adulthood while demonstrating how you can live your life to the fullest–without regrets.

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