When did you first let your daughter shave?

[deleted account] ( 114 moms have responded )

My daughter is only 11 and she is bugging me to let her shave her legs. My first response was that she was too young and didn't need to shave. She informed me that "all" her friends shave and that she does to need to because her legs are very hairy. And yes, she does have hairy legs but it is blonde and I informed her that it is normal to have hair on your legs.



But I'm still thinking about her comment that her friends are shaving. At first I was appalled. To me that is like little girls (5 and under) wearing bright red nail polish. Moms let them do it because they think it is cute but I feel it is not appropriate, though not a big deal, it is teaching them to be sexy too young. My daughter has only started to change and still a little girl physically. Am I wrong to not let her shave? Do you think this may stimatize her with her peers?

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Emily - posted on 05/25/2013

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I am 12 and my parents think that i want to shave to become a slut, but i really just want to shave to fit in and not be picked on for having dark hair on my legs and arms. I used to where shorts for gym but now i where long capris to cover up my legs. Since i have my dads hair, which is dark, i always feel embarised about walking into school when its hot out. All the parents who don't think it matters what your kids think only what matters to you counts, you could never be more wrong. My mom keeps wanting to fight my about using anything like wax or razors cause she was always a late bloomer and thinks that no matter what i will always be wrong. She already bought me nair wipe off wax and Venus razors but wont even let my touch the box their in! This morning she said i could shave in the shower and then when i asked her to help my open the box she blew up in my face about how this is not my day but my brothers weekend since he is graduating. If anybody has any advice on how to approach my mom so she doesn't have my running off to my room crying, please tell me.

Vicky - posted on 06/04/2010

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I think it's hygiene standard today to keep a womans body hair free. I'm hairless myself. I expect that from my daughter, too. All bodily hair. Just like I expect her to brush her teeth. Is there nobody here, who also "expects" it rather then "allow"?

[deleted account]

I am turning 12 in a week and my pubic hairs were starting to annoy me as they were long and rubbing against my legs so i shaved some of them and left the rest but i forgot to rinse the bath and my mam saw all of the hairs and knew exactly what was going on so she asked me and i tried to deny it but in the end i fessed up however things feel awkward and i fear she will tell my grandparents waht should i do?

Sharon Marie - posted on 01/05/2013

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Well I let my daughter start shaving her knee down I didn't think it was appropriate for her to shave her thigh an up. She was only 11 then when she was 13 she asked if she could shave the thigh...I said yes. Then at 14 she asked if she could shave her pubic area. I said that was okay. I asked why? She said it was bugging her. And itchy. So I think it depends. If your daughter is 10 or 11 I would say dont shave the thigh or the pubic area but that doesn't mean ever. Just wait a little while.;) hope it helped;)

Donatien - posted on 04/25/2013

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Bodily hair can be not only embarrassing, but also a reason to be teased. That's nothing you want for your kids.

We think it is today's hygiene standard like brushing teeth and expect that from our girls from the first hair onwards.

To answer your question, our girls started to shave their legs from about 8, pubic hair and underarms from about 10 - my wife is Chinese and the hair is very dark and visible.

114 Comments

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=== - posted on 06/10/2015

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Just be truthful with her (btw i'm myself 16..) tell her that it was bothering you and ask her to keep it private. it's your body, that is none of your grandparents business and quite frankly i'm appalled she would even do that to you

=== - posted on 05/25/2015

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let her shave! when i was a little girl i had hairy legs(hindsight they weren't that hairy at all...) my mother never let me shave till I was 12 when i got my period. I was made fun of on a weekly basis, went to private school so skirts n knee highs. all the boys would point at my legs and snicker and then the girls who i was friends with would support me say it was okay, and offer to let me come over and use their razor b/c they saw how much i was being made fun of. the other girls, who didn't like me, they were torturous little witches. I never told my mother this because I didn't want to start drama with my school mates, but even to this day i wish my mother had let me shave earlier so i could have avoided all the pain I felt.

Laura - posted on 05/24/2015

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If your daughter feels more comfortable shaving her legs, then why not? I personally don't see anything wrong with letting her. You may not find it appropriate for her age, but truly no harm is done. My daughter, 10, (and adopted) is permitted to shave her legs because she simply feels more comfortable doing so, even if she is only in fourth grade.

(But yes, I agree with you about letting your five-year-old wear red nail polish...it does seem a bit odd) :-)

Chloe - posted on 03/21/2015

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I'm wandering the same thning. But my girl is only seven and has very hairly legs. I started shaving at 8 because I was very hair. My girl doesn't like that girls her age don't have hairy legs but she does.

Dennisah - posted on 12/30/2014

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My mom let me start shaving when I got my first period at 12 and a half years old. When I was 13 I asked her when she lost her virginity and after she told me (she was 13) about it she said I could have sex then if I wanted to and gave me access to her stash of condoms. Her only advice was how to be smart about who I sleep with, to do it only when I feel comfortable, and where I can do it (only at home so she knew where I was and only with a boy she has met). Makeup was allowed then too. Once I began menstruating I was considered a woman to some degree. Because she gave me that freedom all at once, before I even asked about it, it gave me early responsibility of my femininity without the power struggle known between mothers and daughters during the adolescent years. I responsibly chose for myself when to have sex, shave my pubic area, wear makeup, etc. I was 19 when I made the decision that I was ready for all of that. My mother died when I was 15 and even though I had a rough childhood, I thank her for allowing me to discover womanhood at MY pace. When I have a daughter, I will do the same for her.

Chet - posted on 09/04/2014

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I started shaving when I was 12. I would probably let any child shave (or remove leg hair somehow) who was self conscious. I certainly wouldn't have a problem letting an 11 year old who actually had hairy legs get rid of it of the hair.

Jack - posted on 06/29/2014

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embaressing ? you kidding unless you have the south American rain forest wareing shorts ? your out of your mind

Jack - posted on 06/29/2014

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only time pubes itch is when the pixie shaves,,the nubes are dreadfull ..wise up kid hair is there for a reason,,men shave as well but for other reasons,,btw pierce that pube area as well as your wacked out peers like it ,you want to belong.dont pull that nonsense the hair itches,,your a kid and have to learn about life,,hair is there for a reason..go to a Korean salon and get you head waxed,,bald is not clean it still smells

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2014

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Well my daughter had REALLY hairy legs so that's why my 13 yr old shaved at age 12 only so she did not get embarrassed but my personal opinion is kids should wait until they are 13 or 14 unless there legs are so hairy that u understand that it would be embarrassing.

Someone - posted on 02/25/2014

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Im telling you this from a kids point of view. If shes doing it just to shave in then no. If she really is hairy then yes. I'm twelve almost thirteen and I didnt start shaving until a month ago. :) And also I agree. Five year olds shouldnt wear bright red perfect nail polish but pink or another girly color in my opinion is fine

Skarlyn Melissa - posted on 02/14/2014

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im only 11 ,, next month turning 12,, and i really want my mom to let me shave my legs,, its really embarrasing,, cuz when i wear shorts, i really notice people noticing that, im really scared of asking my mom that, i know she going to say no to me, but pleasee how can i tell her/ ask her

Bill - posted on 11/28/2012

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She will be showing her shaved pubis to the little boys within 6 months. Hol

d on; don't give in.

Laura - posted on 06/07/2010

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hmmm, my daughter may get to start shaving. her body hasn't changed much, but she is all legs, and they are hairy. she has asked me about it a few times, and i told her to not be in a hurry to shave (because I hate it myself). she is getting self-conscious about it, and i would hate to send her to camp this year looking a hamster : )

Sarah - posted on 06/06/2010

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I don't think age is that much of an issue as alot of mothers think... My daughter was only ten when she approached me with the same issue. i had the same thoughts and disscusions with her. I then noticed just a few weeks later that she had darker hair stating to grow in her armpits and pubic area, I realized that she was starting puberty and decided it was time to let her shave no matter her age. i think if your daughter is showing any signs of puberty then the desicion is almost no longer your s to make, I know it is hard to let them grow up some times they seem so young, but i think it's better to let them start a little early and be prepared rather then to late and have to learn when it is already needed everyday.

LaDena - posted on 01/27/2010

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i let my daughter start shaving at 12,but it was a hard i made it a girl thing and we went to wal mart and picked out colored razors and her favorite shaving cream and we discussed everything that way she is learning from me and not another little girl that has band aids all over lol and she understands that its our thing and not her peers. she is not aloud to wear make up till 15 and minimal at that time and no dating till 16.. i do let her paint her nails as she is 13 now. it took alot for me to let her start shaving as i wanted her to stay a baby forever but try and remember when you were a child peer pressure is incrediable and i learned to chose my battles. trust me you will be battleing a lot more in the next few years just make sure to set your ground rules now about all the other issues coming.

Kristin - posted on 01/26/2010

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My daughter started shaving her legs at 10 as she unfortunately inhierited the hairy genes from her fathers family. I knew she was young but kids get bullied about so many things today that it was an easy one to fix.

Beth - posted on 01/25/2010

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My daughter was twelve and going into middle school. Self-esteem and self-confidence is a big deal at this age. She also has dark hair which makes things more noticeable. Also they have to dress out in shorts for gym and I really didn't want her to end up being teased. The start of the teen years can either be really good years for your child or miserable years for your child.... It's all about how we communicate with them and help them through.

Teresa - posted on 01/21/2010

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My 14 year old started shaving her legs when she was in 5th grade. She did it in the shower w/o me knowing and came out bleeding. I thought she was a bit too young but it's one of those things that I felt a battle wasn't worth it. You really have to pick your battles well and as the parent, win most of the time :)

Corie - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have been letting my 13 year old shave for a while.... I don't see a problem with it to tell you the truth..... but it is up to you when ever you think she is old enough and responable enough to do so.....

Joyce - posted on 01/21/2010

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My 14 year old daughter started when she was 11, but she had also started her period, too. But my 13 year old daughter has not started her period, nor developed breasts, nor started shaving and she is okay with her body. I think it is about the right timing for your child and their body.

Carol Currie - posted on 01/21/2010

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just for your enjoyment (or horror, i suppose)... my oldest boy is 15 and has been shaving for over a year -- frequent fights with his sister about using "her" razor in the shower. The smile part: he hasn't started shaving his face yet... just a do-it-yourself-"Brazilian"... because "all the guys do that..." whatevah!!!

Heather - posted on 01/21/2010

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Ok, I told my daughter she had to wait until she got her period to shave. The day she did, she held out her hand and asked for a razor. I did buy her an electric razor and a standard one for the shower. I told her she had to use the electric on her legs and she could use the standard on her underarms. the reason for this? to much time in the shower.

Rose - posted on 01/21/2010

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thats a good idea me and my daughter does each others nails and yes i didn't know what to think when she came to me at 10 almost eleven with menstrual i was almost 13 these kids today are maturing faster and faster each year .i have a son and he wears a size 13 shoe getting ready to go to 14. but my daugter was getting a lot of peer pressure not just from girls also boys about her hair

Carol Currie - posted on 01/19/2010

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I guess I'm in a choose-your-battle mode. What harm can it do? You might explain to her that it will make the hair grow in coarser and the responsibility to maintain it. (as well as that it isn't necessary, unless she has dark hair -- oops you addressed that.) It may be a self-esteem boost; she may tired of it when the novelty wears off and she has to deal with menstrual issues (they are just around the corner, Mom!) Prepare her well for all that it upcoming. She will be a young woman soon. My kids had a "Puberty" class in 5th grade that discussed the changes that will be happening to both male and female bodies as they mature. My kids had already been told, but I realize that many parents feel it should wait. When I found out that a co-worker's (single dad) daughter had started a few months before she turned 10, I immediately took my daughter shopping (she was three moths younger), told her to put it away until she needed it and let me know if she had questions or needed help. It was two years before she needed it. We now just refer to all of her hygiene supplies as "supplies" so she doesn't have to deal with her older by one year brother or her younger by three years brother.
You are right to not fall prey to "all my friends are doing it" -- my dad's favorite line was "If all of your friends jumped in front of a bus, would you do that too?"
And nail polish is the least of your worries... let it go and enjoy doing your nails with her! If only I knew then what I know now....

Rose - posted on 01/18/2010

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hi kaya my daughter was only ten when she started shaving because like you said the kids all the time teased her.so iwent ahead and let her shave because she has dark hair .i just told her not to be shaving her arms

Kathy - posted on 01/18/2010

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My daughter began asking at that age too. Same story everyone else is doing it! so I went a purchased an electric shaver so that she would not be cutting herself like my sister used to. Well needless to say she is now 13 and rarely shaves. She will in the summertime every 3 to 4 days but she has realized what all woman know shaving is a pain but we have to do it anyway! Good Luck!

Lisa - posted on 01/18/2010

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I let my daughter start shaving this year she is 12.. she was embarassed =to wear shorts because of her hairy legs... I figured she has her period so she should be able to shave her legs.I got her one of thoses noxema razors with the soap all around it so she could get used to shaving and not cut herself. She has now graduated to a regular razor and does just fine. I let her start shaving under her arms at 10 because it was really starting to be smelly :).. I hope this helps you.

Cathy - posted on 01/17/2010

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At least she is asking, my daughter got a hold of my razor and shaved her legs at 11 all by herself. She isn't very consistent about shaving though, I think that she is still learning.

[deleted account]

My daughter started when she was 12, it was summer and the hair was noticable.. I bought her what she needed and showed her how to shave properly.. I don't think it's a wanting to look sexy thing, I think it's a "I am wearing shorts and people can see my hairy legs thing'.. If she is old enough to feel self concious about it, then she is probably old enough to do something about it.. In my opinion..

Marmmett - posted on 01/16/2010

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I remember those days well. My daughter is now 17 and has been shaving for awhile. We looked at need vs an age in our house. When she started developing and growing underarm hair it was time. It is a personal decision for each mother and I have tried very hard over the years to never let what "everyone" else does influence my parenting

Kathy - posted on 01/15/2010

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Yes that is the right time, that is when my daughter came to me, and I thought it was great that is is coming to me to ask, and not just doing it on her own. so she is now shaving, next thing your daughter will ask is about make up, my Daughter just started that. ( 7th grade)

Ericka - posted on 01/09/2010

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With my oldest I did not allow it until 9th grade-maybe 8th though not sure. My youngest however has a problem with too much hair on her legs, arms and even her lower back. She was so embarrassed by it that she was trying to do it herself at around age 10! I finally had to show her how because she was going to get into her sisters things and do it anyway. I finally allow her to do it once she knew what she was doing.
I normally would not reccommend it but it this instant it was just too hard on her. She was teased constantly and waiting a year or two made no sense to me at the time

Glory - posted on 01/09/2010

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wow!! you sound just like me a few weeks ago...my daughter told me the same thing and she is 11 years old...kids could be cruel..her too , the hair on her legs are blonde, I don't know if her friends are really making fun of her or that everyone else is doing it why not me. I said absolutely not, but my 19 year old told me, mom is true I went through the same thing, don't let her freinds make fun of her. so I went ahead and bought her the spray on nair. It comes with a little peice of plastic. You spay it on and leave it on for a few minutes and then scrape the little plastic to remove the hair. I suggest you do that. OH and guess what? She used it twice, and now is just sitting in the bahtroom collecting dust. Is two much work for them. Now she doesn't bother me anymore. Kids want to do what they can't do, once you say yes, it takes the fun out of bugging us..go figure..KIDS..lol

Brenda - posted on 01/08/2010

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My daughter had very hairy legs (it was dark) and wanted to shave. I put her off, then noticed she actually stopped wearing dresses and would only wear pants. At that point I realized the level of comfort that she had with her body was more important than anything else. She started shaving and went back to wearing dresses. Today, hygiene is very important to her. It was not an open door to growth, it was just a way of making her feel good about her body and about being a girl.

Brandi - posted on 01/07/2010

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After long debate, we decided the girls could shave under thier arms when the hair is noticeable, but they cant shave until they get thier first menstral, then if they want to shave they can and we will show them how, so they dont cut temselves. Most girls now days start mentral between 11 and 12 so its a close call. I myself didnt ask, just started shaving when it was noticeable and was going to wear shorts or a bathing suit. So, discuss it over with her and come to a compromise.

[deleted account]

Welcome the the beginning of many challenges... My daughter is 13- and special needs.. she doesn't have the coordination to shave-- so I have to shave her legs and underarms for her. This isn't easy for you-- but I can assure you that there are many other issues just around the corner that you will need to deal with very soon and won't feel ready. Yes this is an opportunity for bonding-- now or later. And yes, the girls are shaving earlier than we did- I am 40 now and I remember starting when I was 14. Late by the terms of many other posts-- but we were poor and razors were and large expense at our house. But when we- my sister started with me- dulled Dad's blades- that was it. Electric razors came to our belonging.



The current average age that puberty starts for girls in America is 11.6. So the fact that she is noticing her body and wanting to take care of herself is normal. And it is normal to have hair on your legs and armpits-- until you suddenly notice that all your friends don't . If you allow her and teach her she may not be so worried about it and not be so into it in a few months. Maybe a compromise can be found. My Mom had us use the electric razors due to expense and safety-- and she encouraged us not to shave too much in the winter due to dry skin. And no she would not buy lotion. It is about a balance between not growing up too fast and not sticking out in a crowd. Talk to your daughter about how you two can strike that balance.

Teresa - posted on 01/07/2010

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You really need to pick ur battles..........this TO ME is not worth the battle. This is a mother - daughter moment for you to share time together. Help her to do it right so there are less cuts when she is doing it alone. After that you two paint each others nails and toes. I really think you are missing out a lot of bonding time with your daughter.

Tammy - posted on 01/06/2010

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My daughter was in 3rd or 4th grade when she started shaving her legs. It wasnt about being sexy. She is really really hairy and it bothered her. Long Black hairs. I didnt say yes at first I was shocked and told her to give me till the weekend and we would talk and after the shock I found out she wouldnt dress out for PE and then when summer cme she wore jeans every day no shorts. With her it was a case of she needing to do it. I guess it depends you and her. If you feel strongly about it say no. Please do sit and talk with her and find out her reasons

Mariah - posted on 01/05/2010

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I think it all depends on several factors. My daughter was 11 when she started shaving but she had asked me at 9 and 10 as well. I made a deal with my daughter that when she started having her monthly cycle then she could start shaving. Her body had grown up enough to have a period so I thought that if she got more than just a talk or something like a shopping trip I would give her what she'd been asking for for almost a year and a half. We went to the store and she picked out her own razor and shaving cream, it made her feel better about it all.

Rachel - posted on 01/05/2010

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i dont remember what age i was when i started shaving. but i do remember my stepmom would NOT allow it ( i think i was in the 5th or 6th grade). In the summer time i was soo embarassed to wear shorts around my friends! I would wear knee-high socks to cover my hairy legs. so i shaved without mom's permission and cut the shit outta myself, lol. So when my own daughters started asking (around the 6th grade) i took them in the bathroom and taught them how to properly use a razor so they wouldnt cut themselves to pieces. I remembered when i was a kid....i didnt want to look "sexy", that's not why i wanted to shave. I just didnt want to be hairy, lol. Dont turn it into a bigger issue than it really is. And realize that even if you say "no", chances are they're gonna lock the bathroom door and do it anyways ;)

Jeanette - posted on 01/05/2010

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My daughter started shaving her legs at 12. She did not like, as see puts it "the peach fuzz". I was okay with it. I want to make sure that she feels comfortable with her body and the changes that she is going through. I guess the next thing will be, "can I wax my eyebrows". Well, she will need to wait a few years for that one!

Jamie - posted on 01/05/2010

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My daughter is 13 and I let her shave. It's just the way it is nowadays. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with shaving at that age. It's just hair. It all depends on what you feel comfortable with. I also allow her to wear makeup. I know I went through hell because my mother wouldn't allow me to shave or wear make-up. Things are different nowadays.

Billie Jo - posted on 01/01/2010

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Well if it helps i can tell you i just experinced this with my 11 year old. I said the same things that you did but i saw how hairy they did look and the fact that in school they have to change for gym and gave in. But this was the deal i made with her. First of all it has only been about 3 months since she started the shaving. I buy the non razor veet that is a cream that removes the hair easier where she can learn to shave herself without being cut tremendously bad. Secondly, i don't let her shave but every two to three weeks. This has helped her look and feel better about herself without causing any problems to her legs with cuts. In a few more months i will probably let her start using a razor as needed. But for now its working for both of us.

Jasmin Aka Heidi Smith - posted on 12/31/2009

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My daughter will be 9 in May, and she is also asking me if she can shave. I told her when I can see hair on her legs when I am standing 24 inches away from her then she can shave. With her being half-spanish I have a feeling she will be shaving before I want her too....

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